Reprograming our Hearts & Heads

After spending years with the same person we tend to be “programmed” by them. We know their likes and dislikes, things to avoid saying or doing. We become accustom to their way of thinking and even adopt it as our own. So how does one overwrite the old programming hit the reset button so to speak?

I am finally dating someone, someone with serious potential at a future and someone I absolutely adore. “B” is amazing in so many ways but I have to really work at not defaulting to my old programming.

When "B" gives me a compliment my first reaction is to dismiss it. Learning to accept it and say thank you is new. He makes me feel good and I want to believe he like me just as I am but the EX was a narcissist about his weight and appearance which made me continuously feel like I was not what he wanted.

The EX almost never wanted sex. We never did it during the day, my pleasure was never priority, he wanted me to be quiet, and numerous other little oddities. I use to want it all the time but I had to pled for it, beg, cry, even barter for sex so I became conditioned or "programmed" to not expect it.

“B” said; make noise, scream, talk dirty to me, tell me what you want me to do, let me know I am pleasuring you! He was so sincere and serious it made me smile and want to cum for him even more. He has an insatiable appetite. In less than a 24 hour time frame we can have sex and not just run of the mill sex but mind blowing really good sex three or four times. (Which I love, but I have to get use to the "update.")

The EX hated breasts! How does a guy hate boobs? “B” was over at the house and mentioned the bra hanging on the door knob. My gut instinct was to cower in shame for leaving it there and when he said it was a large bra I was scared he would think my breasts were ugly. Instead he said “I love them, they are perfect!” It is astounding how much my thinking was geared towards hating my own body.

It is time to get rid of the old programming, purify the heart and accept new data.