Catalyst- Anna Nalick

A catalyst is something that triggers a chemical reaction. It is beautiful the way it is used here in this song, because a catalyst is something that makes a chemical reaction occur rapidly where it might be otherwise impossible. All the ingredients can be there, but without the catalyst, there is no chemical reaction.

People and experiences shape who we are and who we become. It is funny how people can be the catalyst to so many of the decisions we make. Although we are completely responsible for those decisions, everyone plays a part.

January 2, 2010 my EX moved out of the house. January 3, 2010 I saw pictures of Parker with his new girlfriend even though he lied and said they were just friends attending a mutual friend’s birthday party. I realized that I would never be his. That he didn’t want me, he choose someone else. Those two events were the catalyst for January 4, 2010. I met Gi-Joe out by his car and was in his bed by night fall.

January 4, 2011 I was thinking about where I was mentally a year ago which made me think about Gi-Joe and Parker. It was like thinking about them willed them to contact me. I spoke to Gi-Joe earlier in the day around 5:00pm and Parker sent me a text message on January 4th around 9:30pm. (He reached out to me, not me to him which is out of character for him.)

It is still weird to me how thoughts of him can consume me and then BAM! out of the blue he will text me. It has happened numerous times before. I don’t know what his motivation was, what made him think of me right then but he did. Maybe thinking about the birthday party a year ago made him think of me?

Parker was the catalyst to several other events, he was a chemical reaction that made me a beautiful disaster. He was my crush and to this day I can not fathom the pull he has on me. I digress….. I am just saying the Ex, Parker and other things all led to why I fell into GI-Joe’s bed. They were the CATALYST! (However I have no regrets.)

When you say love is a simple chemical reaction
Can't say I agree
'Cause my chemical, yeah, left me a beautiful disaster
Still love's all I see
So I'm taking these pills for to fill up my soul
And I'm drinking them down with cheap alcohol
And you'd be inclined to be mine for the taking
And part of this terrible mess that I'm making
But you, you're the catalyst


slowburn said...

We are all linked to another in different ways and sometimes, we affect eachother in ways we may not know. I enjoyed reading that. Good song!

Calliope said...

@slowburn Yes we are linked to others and they are linked to us. They can be our motivation good and bad. I miss all three of them for very different reasons.

Lawless said...

I hope you can find peace... learn from it... and grow stronger. And of course, continue to share it all with us.