DAMN Dating Is Brutal.......

I have the wants and needs of a woman and the dating know how of a teenage girl!

Text, Email & IM

I have to admit I am completely confused by the social constructs of dating. What is the point of having technology in the palm of your hand if the opposite sex refuses to take advantage of it? Dating has gotten even more confusing as technology has expanded.

If I text or email you because you texted or emailed me then I am interested. God knows if I respond or send another message before you respond I some how imply some form of desperation or desire to build a "relationship."

IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?- it simply means I am interested so answer my damn text or email!

Why must you wait 3-5 days to respond? Why must I patiently wait those 3-5 days to see if you write back? Why must we play these games and do this dating ritual dance? If you are interested then fucking send a message so we can get to know each other. (Once I get to know you then I can reject you or you can reject me.)

I cannot read you mind, I am to old for games so why play this game of; If you or I respond quicker then some invisible time frame that exists that it means something that it doesn't?

Brutal Honesty vs. Polite Rejection

I went on a date on Monday to which I was informed I am basically "too" fat for his taste. (I am a size 12 BTW. Not fat but not thin.) Why could he have not just said at the end of the date, "I had a good time however I am not feeling it. I wish you the best." Instead he said. "You are a little fat for my taste. I am not interested and I am going through a lot so please don't contact me again." He was the one that contacted me and asked for the date.

I am all for honesty and despite the consensus my filter is broken I do hold back. I do not find the need to crush a person's spirit just because I have the power to.

Name Calling, Divulging to Much INFO & just Creepy

The Monday date "You are to fat" guy was not bad looking but he was no prince charming by any stretch of the imagination. He was going bald and informed me of his nylon fetish. That's right you heard me correctly. He loves nylons. Now I am a fan just like the next person. They make your legs look amazing, they feel silky when you stroke your hand up towards my thigh but not something one should divulge to much of on a first date but maybe that's just me.

Another guy said to me "MMmmm DADDY likes." Which as a single mother of two children just came across as creepy, not cute or sexy. Later the same guy called me a red neck. Anyone who knows me knows I am the farthest thing from a red neck and maybe that was why it was funny?

What is with the revealing to much, straight out asking a stranger if they want to be a fuck buddy and name calling when things aren't going your way? I mistakenly thought it would be easier to find a grown up in my 30's then when I was trying to date in my 20's. I thought dating someone in their 30's would lend to dating someone more mature, someone with some life experience and someone that had their shit together.

Perhaps it is just me and I am just not getting the humor or the tone of dating. I thought one was suppose to be putting their best foot forward and be in the, I want to impress you so you might take your cloths off stage.

Does it get any better?


Carolee said...

Oh yes!!!

But patience will provide you with rewards in the men who come into your life. I am quite certain there are plenty of shallow, immature women who give our female name a bad taste in the mouth of men.

You are a gorgeous, strong and unique woman! A man who can not appreciate you for ALL of who you are, inside and out, is not worth a second thought!

Keep being you and keep looking for the good ones, I promise they are out here too, probably looking for someone exactly like you!

Great writing by the way!

Anonymous said...


wow. just wow. no freakin wonder you've been so damned quiet around here with all you've been dealing with!!

i agree with you. i often wonder what it is with people that send you an e-mail like 'so, you wanna join me in the tub', then you answer within 10 minutes only to find out that they left the house not even 5 minutes after sending, leaving me hanging. like WTF are they thinking?

to me, someone asking something like that is pretty horny or anxious, so why would they leave.
it's almost like it's too easy to say whatever is on your mind and tease via technology, when you wouldn't normally say those things.

that guy that you went on a date with is simply a complete jackass. i wouldn't even give him a second though!! count your blessings that you didn't get any further. what an ass! and isn't it always the butt ugly ones that pull shit like that? grrr

as for your man that likes nylons, again, good ridance. good thing that you didn't go any further with nylon man, i can just see you fighting him for the black silky ones;)

and the 'ummm daddy likes' guy. creepo for sure. just gross.

these people just aren't on their best behavior!!

i've come across my share of creeps on fb and i'm not even trying to date!!!!

first there was the guy asking if i was single even tho it says i'm not on my profile, then a week later asking me to fool around with him. then the guy that friended me cause i had a nice smile. then the guy that asked if i'd be his fwb (friend with benefits), then the guy that said i was a MILF.

i definately pitty people in the dating scene

Calliope said...

@carolee- I hope that patience will bring me the one that will love me in the way I deserve to be loved and I go to bed wanting to love someone in return.

@thatgirl- I know I would have had to fight him for my silky black thigh highs. He commented to many times on them to make me think otherwise. He was a weirdo for sure!

I have been hit on by a 17yr old, a 20 yr old, I have been told I was a MILF. I also was told by the med student how "freakin" hot I was for having 2 kids. Although typing it out it almost sounds like an insult rather than a compliment.

All I can say is DATING IS BRUTAL!

Anonymous said...

Then do not date!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is the point????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Calliope said...

Anonymous- Spoken like a truly bitter person. Even though my marriage failed and even though I have dated a few less than great people it does not mean I plan to give up dating.

I am not looking for someone to sweep me off my feet that is left for Disney and fairy tales. I am not expecting nor do I want someone to ride in and save me because I DO NOT need saving. I DO NOT need anyone to help me raise my sons because I am doing a fantastic job and their father is a great dad.

I am looking for someone to share my life with a little. Someone to have good conversation with and yup you guessed it some passionate sex with.

My sons are growing up and will be moving on. I cannot make them my whole life because if I do my "life" will fall apart when they grow up, move away, get married and start their own families.

This blog is not just about sex but a true introspection of me and what I want out of life. Life is what I make it as is yours. Sounds like you need some introspection?

Anonymous said...

You have a lot to offer and it sounds like some of the guys you have mentioned from your past were pretty good guys (or more in some cases). So, those guys are out there but so are a lot of the ones you just ran across.

That next guy who sees you for who you are is going to be so lucky in ways he never even imagined!

Anonymous said...

I am not bitter, I just put more stock in my life then waiting on a man to find ways to complete me.

Sex is only 15 mins in a day. Maybe 30 mins he if is good, but there is more to life then sex!!!!!!!!!! And more to life then dating and hoping the right guy will walk across my path.

So much to see and do. Yes I too have carshed and burned inlove and have to raise children alone will he moves on and lives a prime life but I put more stock in my self then me and the cahrms they think they have.

I am happy just the way I am and no man can complete me.

Your life will only fall apart if you let after your sons leave. Find a hobby, fulfill bucket list items, do anything instead of waiting for Mr. Right.

Calliope said...

Marcus- Thank you my sweet *muah*

Anonymous- The biggest difference between you and me is I already knew and still know I DO NOT need a man or anyone to “complete” me. It is foolish to think another human being riddled with flaws can complete anyone. Go read “Filler of Holes.”

I do things on my bucket list all the time. I am very happy with who I am. I go out with my girlfriends on a regular basis. I am not waiting on Mr. Right or Mr. Perfect; I am searching for someone to give all this love I have deep inside me too.

I want a man in my life because I enjoy having a companion. I am not trying to move him in or to marry him. You should try to let go of some of that bitterness and be open to the possibility that love will find you. Good luck in life I rather not die alone and bitter!