Cybersex Addiction

The Big Bang Theory is one of my favorite shows. In a recent episode Howard got in trouble with his girlfriend for having cybersex with a troll. This was accomplished through the use of avatars in a multiuser software environment. The funny thing is the troll ended up being some fat middle aged janitor that works in his building.

This episode got me thinking about cybersex and porn and the addiction it can create. Many people are affected by the easy access the internet provides to porn, pictures and people that are in unhappy relationships and use it as an escape.

So what is cybersex? It is a form of sexual role-play in which the participants pretend they are having actual sex. In one form, this fantasy sex is accomplished by the participants describing their actions and responding to their chat partners in a mostly written form designed to stimulate their own sexual feelings and fantasies.

The quality of a cybersex encounter typically depends upon the participants' abilities to evoke a vivid, visceral mental picture in the minds of their partners. Imagination and suspension of disbelief are also critically important.

Cybersex can occur either within the context of existing or intimate relationships, e.g. among lovers who are geographically separated, or among individuals who have no prior knowledge of one another and meet in virtual spaces or cyberspaces and may even remain anonymous to one another.

Research suggests that cybersex addicts spend at least 11 or 12 hours a week on the Internet, and often its double or triple that amount of time. If alcoholics and drug addicts define "being sober" by not drinking or using mind altering chemicals, Sobriety for cybersex addicts consists of avoiding the sexual and cybersexual activities that cause the addict to feel shameful, hold secrets, or which are illegal or abusive.

Cybersex addicts may also need to avoid nonsexual activities such as surfing the Web or just spending lots of time alone with the computer which can lead them back to cybersex activities.

So how do you know if you are an addict? If you repeatedly spend more time on cybersex activities than you intended, if you continue despite significant negative consequences in your life (if you are risking your relationships, your job, your health, or your legal status), and if you are obsessed or preoccupied with these activities when you should be focused on other aspects of your life, then you are likely a cybersex addict.


Cybersex Survey Take the Survey below. If you want, post your results in the comments. You can do it anonymously or as one of my followers.


1. Your age?
2. Sex?
3. Are you the addict or the one affected by the addiction?
4. Are you still in a relationship?
5. Are you happy?
6. Has your or your partner's (depending who is responding) online sex addiction led to actual sexual encounters with other people?
7. If yes above did you practice safe sex?
8. Will you engage in offline encounters again with those met online?
9. If you are the addict is your partner aware of you addiction or meeting people offline met online?

3 comments:

ProfessorC said...

I don't have as much cybersex as I used to, mainly because of the lack of good partners. The proliferation of video cam-to-cam sex takes away the imagination part of creating a alternate dimension of time and place. It's sad that not many people have the interest to create vivid characters and settings with which to have sex in an imaginary world.

Calliope said...

@ Professor C- Thank you for your candidness. =) I imagine that for some they can take it or leave it where as for others they excape into a world of fantasy.

You did not mention if it ever affected any personal relationships.

Big Geek said...

Age 50
Sex Mostly M but occasionally F... bad joke and could easily be taken incorrectly. M
Addicted? Yes I am. Less now than in the beginning. I got hooked at the bleeding edge of porn on the internet back in the early 90's.
I am in a relationship.
Happy? Tough question. I believe that I am some sort of manic depressive or other. So the answer to this question depends greatly on the day and the circumstance. I can be Happy with a Capital H all day and just one thing can make me near suicidal in instant later.
My online activities did lead to actual encounters.
Safe sex? Shamefully no.
I will not be meeting any persons from online in the future.
My partner is very aware of my addiction... my activities I keep hidden... although she has the gift of discernment and can "feel" it when I am 'acting out'