You have to kiss a lot of frogs........

Just a little something my grandmother said to me on my sixteenth birthday.

Getting back in to the whole dating world has been interesting to say the least. I went out with this photographer and he was very handsome, talented, educated, and easy to talk to. He was older than me and had his shit together. After two lunch dates I was not feeling anything beyond friendship and I don't think he was either.

The second lunch ended and as we headed out to our cars we hugged it out. We had discussed getting around to "our lips meeting" so there was a pause in the middle of the hug for the "lean in." I end up dodging him resulting in a side lips graze/cheek kiss.

WOW- that was awkward! A really good kiss should feel like someone just tugged at the back of your belly button. (YOU KNOW?)

When do you go in for that first kiss? What if when you do there is no spark? Then what? Is that it? How do you know when to give it a second chance or move on to the next one?

Does anyone else get plagued with these questions or do I truly OVER think everything????

OK, so I mentioned the 24 year old in the online dating post. I met him at a Chamber of Commerce event. We chatted and he seemed great. Physically not my "typical" type but I am trying to broaden my horizons. My schedule with my kids don't allow for evening dates unless on the weekends so we met for several day dates.

He too was easy to talk to and we had some things in common despite the almost nine year age difference. He kissed well and did stir up a little something in my belly. Moving from the safe lunch date we finally get around to the dinner date.

There are several embarrassing mishaps and I am totally ready to throw in the towel but then I am told I am a "runner". First sign of things not going how I thought, I run. Then I don't risk getting hurt. (Whatever!) Needless to say we laugh about it, put it behind us and set up another evening date.

So this past week comes and we have a good time but still there is NO Za-Za-Zu. I don't feel those butterflies in my belly. I don't feel the way I think I should if there was something there worth exploring. When you are with someone you should not be wishing they were someone else.

So now back to square one- kissing more frogs!


Marcus said...

You'll definitely know it much more once the prince comes along! Even after the first kiss, it can still be a guessing game of when and what type of kiss to go for. Although with the first kiss, it can be a make it or break it thing, a signal from one person to the other which tells a lot.

Carolee said...

The good news is that frogs are not on the endangered species list, so you have plenty of time to kiss your plenty before finding your prince....

Anonymous said...

A kiss should be sweet, sensual and like tasting a piece of something forbidden or completely savory. However, putting to much stock in the first kiss can be dangerous; nerves can play a hard game with that first kiss. Leading to awkward and over thinking the time spent on the first kiss. One should never over think a kiss or the time it takes to maneuver the right timing.

Sex on the first date is never a good idea because you are expecting fireworks and all you may end up with is sparklers or even the occasional bottle rocket. Once it goes off there is no way in knowing if it will happen again. Looking for that Za-Za-Zu or sparks or whatever you wanna call it is a lot harder to find once you have become experienced and a being a woman who knows what she wants.

When the time comes it will be right.

Instead of looking for him to flip your switch find something that turns it on instead and he will be so shocked by the light you illuminate that he will be blinded and want to find the source of brightness. He then can decide how to dim or change the schedule in order to spark the fireworks at the right time and allow them to dance in the sky before fading.

Calliope said...

Anonymous- To illuminate, to be incandescent…. Oh how I long for someone to truly see the fire burning in me. To see the brightness that radiates from my spirit and to be valued for it.

Thank you for your kind words. Your comment enriched my blog and writings. It was witty and insightful. I hope you decide to follow and no longer be anonymous. (That way I know your comments from the other anonymous ones.)

Anonymous said...

I chose to remain Anonymous for my own reasons. I am glad you found my comment witty and enlightening no pun intended. However, I feel as if you missed my point.

Which is this. From your writings it is obvious you place sex in high regard and in fact it seems as if the thoughts of sex, the feelings sex invokes rule your world. Instead of letting sex rule your world find something outside of the sex box to make that light come on.

Once you have become more comfortable in that world outside of the box of denied sex or dates that end in bed sex, or the ultimate sexual pleasure in which you create as a fantasy then your can be the light you so crave to the opposite sex.

The search is worth but maybe just less emphasis and live life less sexually focused. There is more to life then being pleasured in the bedroom, bathroom, or wherever you choose the romp.

I hope to see your light brighter someday. No one can find value in something that you do value yourself. Nor can they find the value in something greater then you when you are ruled by sex being the source of the light in which you crave.

Anonymous said...

supposed to be not value yourself.

Calliope said...

I will have to mull this new comment over before I respond. I know it is not a personal attack in any way but until you actually go through what I went through or hear all of my story to really see the full picture no one can really judge how much value I place in sex (which is not near as much as you think!)

I have more to say but I think my feathers are ruffled and I need to breathe first...........

Anonymous said...

Ruffled feathers... happens to all of us. And it is not a personal attack. I just do not see why sex is a constant theme.

Maybe I am wrong and have no idea what I am talking about. I sometimes think people put to much emphasis on the needs from the opposite gender and put sex at the top of the list and in the end they forget that life is worth living.

I respect that there is a reason why you are where ever you are in life and that the hand dealt may not seem most fair. However, I would like to see you do something for yourself and not the Za-Za-Zu as you call it. Butterflies in the stomach can come from so many other places... a new hobby, a bucket list item checked off, or just living and knowing we can survive on your own and not need someone to be there ALL the time.

Live Life. Csrpe Diem. Do something just for you.

As for the ruffled feather not my intention but hopefully a thinking place, we all need to start somewhere. Been there done that myself.

Calliope said...

@ Anonymous- If you really took the time to look all the way through this blog you would see I am intelligent, talented, a hopeless romantic even though I try to not show it and so much more.

While this blog does have a "sex" theme it also speaks about love, loss, has a greek mythology under tone, and many other things.

Perhaps all you see is the "SEX" on this blog but that is your own narrow mindedness. I have been judged by several people because that is all they see but how very wrong you ALL are!

It is you who will miss out on knowing someone grand!