The Road To Discovering Self Pleasure

In seventh grade I was introduced to romance novels by one of my really good friends. Her mom had hundreds of them in the basement and she would smuggle them out to me. The first one I read grabbed my interest in such a way that I stayed up way into the night reading. Later I found myself completely engrossed in them. I read them on the bus, at lunch, during class hidden beneath the table. I longed to be the woman on the front cover, beautiful and confident. I wanted to experience the pleasure described in those books and know what it was to fall in love.

Slowly my curiosity got the better of me. I remember reading one erotic novel that had me so turned on my cotton panties were drenched in fluid and I wasn’t quite sure why. In the attempt to wipe away all the “messiness” I hit my clitoris just right, discovering the tie between being turned on, the fluid and how to draw out that pleasure.

My antique bed was broken so my mattress and box spring were sitting on the floor. It was already bedtime but my parents were in the living room which was just on the other side of my wall. I was trying to be as quiet as I could so I would not be heard. I rolled over on my stomach and lifted my body up so my fingers could move easily up and down, back and forth.

As I got closer I realized the mattress just had to much give, it molded to me making it harder and harder to get where I was trying to get to. I paused what I was doing and almost gave up in frustration when I then crawled out of bed and laid on the floor. I pumped my little body up and down as if there was a lover beneath me. I closed my eyes and allowed the images of who that was and all the things they could do to me flow through my brain. My fingers just moved back and forth until this hot molten burst exploded through me and I bit down on my own hand to keep from crying out in pleasure.

Rolling over onto my back I just laid on the floor for a moment staring up into the dark waiting for my breath to return to normal. The room smelled of what I had just done and guilt prickled at me. Surly this was not ok. I didn’t want to crawl back into my sheets with the smell on my hand but I didn’t want to open my door and chance my parents asking me why I was  up.

After laying there for about ten minutes the euphoria was wearing off a little and I decided I would just go to the bathroom wash my hands and get a sip of water. That was plausible enough but I now understood what “the room smells like sex” meant and next time I would need to be better prepared.

9 comments:

Advizor54 said...

What a sweet story, my daughter is just starting to figure out that if she reads books with "s-e-x" (as she says it) in it, her "pee-pee tingles." She told this to my wife, NOT to me, and we both laughed and laughed. It won't be long for her, and I told my wife that she's in charge of that conversation.

Thanks for sharing

AnnaBelle said...

Wow!! Very much wow!!

You have really put a piece of yourself out there for us readers! The innocence and the perspective of this memory allow us a glimpse into a place in your past, helping us understand the woman you are today.

I was super impressed with the vivid details, but the way you wrote them did not threaten or deface your youth!!

Seriously, an amazing peace of writing, in my humble opinion.

1manview said...

I agree with AnnaBelle, your writing is awesome. I like how you are taking us on the journey to the understanding of you...

that girl said...

beautiful. lovely. but oh my god. my daughter is almost THAT age....

fucking terrifying!!

:(

slowburn said...

A fantastic confession.Beautifully crafted. And keeping your promises. I've never asked a woman about the first time they 'discovered themselves' so I was fascinated by this one! You'll like my next post! It was written before you published this, but it ties in very nicely thematically. Thanks for sharing.

Big Geek said...

First I want to second/third what every one else says great writing. but I wonder about where this comes from... "and guilt prickled at me. Surly this was not ok."

how does that happen to people where does it come from even at a relatively early age...

Marcus said...

Wonderful how you can convey so much of what you were feeling and thinking, the newness of it all, the guilt and the pleasure, the beginning of a new chapter.

My first time was much different of course, much more male. I had played with myself when younger but didn't quite always get what was going on. Then one night I had my first wet dream. I woke up that morning and felt different especially when my cock got hard, I stroked it and instantly pumped it in a way I had never tried and quickly saw the first streams of cum shooting out of the tip. I too felt guilt and wonder followed by an incessant need to do it as often as possible.

Mr. Onederful said...

That was a great read. Its very heart felt. U put the moment out there as real as it gets. I know my daughter is around that stage as she is 19 or at least thats MY thinking...

plantpage said...

I would love to inhale and taste your scent