Dominate Me

Having been told by more than one person I am a lot to handle; I need to find a man that can “handle” me. I need a man that knows how to take charge.

Let me clarify…Take charge in the bedroom.

I want a man that will initiate sex. One that wants me so damn bad he can barely make it past the front door before he is ripping my clothes off. Someone who will fling me on to the bed and come take what he wants. I want a man that can be forceful but also tender and loving.

Recently I have found myself selecting men whom are in positions of authority with the hope I will find someone that has more of that “authoritative dominate” personality. The biggest issue for me though is finding a man that understands the differences between being dominating in a good way and controlling and cruel.

I have always been a very strong person in character and in personality, partly because I had to be and partly because it is just who I am. While I want to be dominated it does not mean I shouldn't have an opinion. It is a delicate balance between bending and breaking, between willful and ordering, between taking no and being a doormat.



slowburn said...

You want someone who leads in the bedroom, but treats you as an equal everywhere else! You'd think that would be easy to achieve! Why is it that people forget that the bedroom is about play and respect should be the key to relationships?

Calliope said...

Exactly! Perfectly said.

Big Geek said...

political correctness strikes again.

Marcus said...

A woman who is stronger wants someone who can match her and keep up with her, an equal but someone who is capable of taking charge but sometimes chooses not to. It's a delicate balance and requires a lot of effort on the man's part but he is out there, just hard to find.

Big Geek said...

I thought I should be more clear about my comment... while it is "new" political correctness it is more a result of the Opra-fication/ Dr. Phill-ification. Men are being encouraged to be vulnerable and to embrace their feminine side, be sensitive. Add to that that the white American man is directly responsible for every evil that exists in the world. We are also the only safe target for jokes any more. Every other group is politically off limits to joke about. This fine line you are asking about is also a risky line to cross. If a guy is as you say aggressive in the bedroom but some how crosses some invisible line that exists only in the woman's mind he can be charged with rape. there are LOTS of reason that this man is going to be darn difficult to find any more.
Its a mine field out there.

Calliope said...

@ Big Geek, I understand what you are trying to say but I want to be very clear when I say “I am not asking to be raped in any way.” I am sorry for any kind of misunderstanding my words may have caused.

What I WANT is a man that is intelligent, kind, understanding, and is capable of taking charge when necessary but also capable and comfortable in not having to always be right or in charge.

What I want is a well rounded “human being.” The stero-type that a man can’t feel or be sensitive is complete BS. Having emotions and being capable of expressing them does not in any way show weakness in my book. The balance is just as delicate and difficult for the woman. If she is to dominate she is a bitch or butch, not enough she is a push over and a doormat. It comes down to mutual respect.

When Slowburn/Marcus stated that it is a matter of finding a partner that sees me as an equal they nailed my point exactly. I want someone that shares in the responsibilities and in the pleasure. The bedroom is a completely different environment from the real world. It should be a safe place to reveal your desires, fetishes, fantasies and be able to play them out with a partner that understands the difference between bedroom play and the real world.

Anonymous said...

I think you need someone more that is willing to push your buttons. If I am repeating you properly and are you choosing men in authority. Or do you need that authority figure in your life for centering or stability. As the bedroom goes the separation between real world and pleasure is a very fine line in some instances. If my authority in real life leads me to be submissive in the bedroom. That does not mean that I will not be the aggressor when put in to that position in the bedroom.

Calliope said...

I do want someone to push my buttons! Push all of them in a very good way ;) I know who I want to push them I just don’t know that our fates will ever line up. I like to be challenged mentally, physically, and just really feel like I am in the presence of an equal, a true companion.

I have seen one more than one occasion that yes in fact a person that has to be in control and make serious life/death or multi-million dollar decisions in the “real world” tend to want to relinquish control in the bed room. I don’t make multi-million dollar decisions but during work hours and when outside the four walls of my house I am use to having to be the strong, determined, level headed person.

Being a dominate personality I guess that makes me more likely to be a sub in the bedroom. What is funny is that most people that think they “know” me would never guess how much I REALLY want to relinquish the responsibility and give into someone else making decisions and taking control.