Dreaming Of You Tonight

In my dreams you have finally appeared
Never finding you no longer feared
Your lips pressed firmly to mine
Fingers slowly intertwine
Searching in the dark
A glutinous journey do we embark
Making love in the intensity of the night
With you my soul takes to flight
It has been far to long since my lips have touched yours.

Have You Ever......

Her words just resonated with me tonight!

Have you ever been so wowed by someone, all your words come out wrong?

Have you ever meet someone that makes you melt inside?

Have you ever wanted someone so much, everything else pales in comparison?

Have you ever let a lie wrap its self around you, you made yourself believe it was the truth?

Have you ever had to let go of something you wanted to hold on to forever?

Have you ever loved someone so much, it makes you cry?


Giving a blow-job, head, fellatio whatever one may call it is something I enjoy very much. One of my girlfriends was married for years had three kids and divorced, yet she had never given head before. I tried to explain how much she was missing out on. For me there is a sexual charge, a feeling of being dominated by him as well as knowing I hold a certain level of power in controlling his orgasm.

I love when his cock is throbbing with anticipation and I take it into my mouth and allow my tongue to weave a story of pleasure. Locking eyes with him and watching his face, hearing his moans, having him cum as a direct response to my touch, my body, my presences. His body is crying out in ecstasy and that excites me!

I find it extremely erotic to pleasure my partner in this way, so here are a few tips on how to perfect the art of fellatio.

Show enthusiasm: The best fellatio involves a giver who is totally into it. You absolutely, positively must be into giving this man a blowjob, otherwise no one will enjoy it. Smile, give him that naughty look, love what you are doing. It is scientifically proven that people feel better when they see someone else smile - and that is your goal - to give your man the most intense sexual pleasure ever! Make him Never desire another woman's mouth.

Set the scene: Although a quickie blowjob in an elevator certainly should have its place in your sexual repertoire, most men will enjoy a blowjob to the fullest in a more relaxed setting. The best oral sex begins long before you take off his clothes and involves much more than just your mouth. Use everything available to you to pleasure him, be swept away by the moment and do what feels good to you and your partner.

Explore his whole body: Start slowly. Touch, lick, and kiss your partner, not just the areas that turn him on but the ones that turn you on as well: the nape of his neck, his earlobes, his chest, his nipples, his round buttocks, feet, thighs, ect… Every man is different, and every encounter is different: the same man might love a gentle touch one night, but want more aggressive play another night. Don’t be afraid to try new things.

Start slowly: Delight in the sensation of his cock stiffing within your hand or mouth. Lick the whole shaft as if you where licking or sucking on a popscicle. (A great way to cool off in the summer and practice your skills.) With your hands, mouth, and tongue, explore every inch. Run your tongue along the shaft, along his testicles, then move back up the shaft slowly, working your way to the head.

Pay particular attention to the frenulum, which is where the head meets the shaft. Most men find this an intensely sensitive area. Run your tongue along it, first gently, then a little harder. Feel the smooth, hard surface against your lips, kiss it, lick it, tease it. Now slowly take the hard, sensitive head entirely in your mouth while using your tongue to stimulate the frenulum.

Build and increase the action: Stick out your tongue and say “ah.” Leave your tongue out of your mouth and use it to pleasure his frenulum as you stroke. Try sucking on his penis, creating a vacuum-like tightness and pressure. Don’t be afraid to suck hard, as many men enjoy that strong sensation. Suck on the head, or take all of it in your mouth and maintain the suction the entire time you slide it in and out of your mouth.

Draw your lips into a tight circle, so there is almost a popping sound when the head moves in and out. You can try long, hard strokes along the entire shaft with just your tongue or with your mouth, or quick light strokes with your mouth just on the head. There are an almost infinite number of ways to pleasure a cock.

Play around with different moves and see to what he responds. When you find something he enjoys, stay with it for a few minutes. Never do the exact same things for an extended period, as the effect of even the most wonderful sensations diminish with time.

Give yourself a helping hand: Never let your hands lie still and go unused while you give a blowjob! I cannot stress this point enough. Use your hand to stroke his shaft below where your mouth is, move your hand in the opposite direction of your mouth or use it as a way to follow the tug and sensation of your mouth. At this point, you may want to apply lube to his nice erect cock. (Be sure to choose a lube that is tasteless and odorless or one where you like the taste and smell.)

Do NOT neglect his balls and anus: Testicular stimulation is highly erotic for most men. Try using your hands to pleasure his balls, or stroke his cock with your hand and use your mouth and tongue to lick and suck his balls. Most men enjoy having their testicles cupped or played with.

A great many men enjoy anal stimulation. While your mouth is busy with his cock, gently touch the sensitive anus with the tip of your finger. If he does not discourage you, insert a lubed finger in his anus. (As in all sensitive erogenous zones, there may be a fine line between pleasure and pain, and each man has his own threshold that may shift over time, so be attentive to his responses.)

The moment of truth: You have spent a lot of time learning what he likes, now it is time to give it ALL to him at once! Assume the position, any position that allows you to reach his cock with your mouth. When you sense he is ready to cum, quicken the pace. Timing is everything; at this point, you should be pumping fast and furiously with your mouth, or your hand. DO NOT slow the pace no matter how sore or tired your mouth or hands become. Keep the rhythm going and don’t stop. Make sure you pace yourself during the blowjob so that you can finish with a sprint. Virtually all men enjoy rapid-fire pumping at the end, but some men like it light and others like a firmer hand. Experiment with pressure and speed.

To Swallow or Not To Swallow- that is the question: When I choose to swallow with someone it is an intimate act regarding how I feel about that particular man. Most men enjoy it when you swallow, however some people find it less than pleasant. The taste of semen is fairly mild, but can vary tremendously from man to man, and even for the same man at different times. The key to sweet tasting semen is eating lots of fruit.

Some people find deep throating at the moment of ejaculation helpful, but if you absolutely cannot bring yourself to swallow under any circumstances, you can discreetly spit the semen into a tissue or towel. Or better yet, pull his cock out of your mouth at the last moment and have him ejaculate on your breasts or body.

Hopefully these tips are helpful. We can get into deep throating and props such as ice, Altoids, pearls ect... in another post.

When Is Giving In The Same As Giving Up?

Last night a friend made a bold statement making me reflect and ponder: "When does giving in become giving up?"

Completely beaten down he declared he no longer was going to ask for sex, expect it or even want it. That if him and his wife engaged in the act then they did and if not he was going to just accept that was what his marriage had become.

With clarity I remember reaching that frustrated and defeated point with my ex. The more I longed for intimacy the more he withdrew and resented me. There was this insistent seductive tug of denial that it would not always be this way. I thought I could give in to keep the peace, learn to be grateful for when he did want me because after all at least every now and then he did.

It took awhile for me to realize I was not compromising or giving in to his wishes but that I was being asked to silence an immutable part of who I am. I deserved to be loved wholly and fully and giving up and accepting what he gave me was accepting less then what I deserved.

I was not just trying to appease him but to learn to conform more to what his idea of a wife should be. I gave in to his way of thinking because I did not want to lose him or all that we had but with every passing day that my needs and desires were quieted the more I disappeared.

Another friend separated from his wife about a year ago for reasons I am unsure of, but recently I found out he had moved back in. When I asked if things had gotten better he responded not really but she was threatening to move out of state with his children. He moved back for his kids which I can understand and respect but how awful to be manipulated back in to a situation that he had obviously left for a reason.

The sacrifice of your own happiness for another eventually wears on a person. There is only so much one can take before they break, snap, or disappear. Giving in to these kinds of extremes is beyond trying to compromise but should be classified as giving up.

Accepting less then what you deserve in the long run will not make anyone happy, you are simply squandering your life away and theirs.