It is crazy ironic how calling Parker out, and then talking to Jack about the "Savior Complex" made me realize something about my own MO. If I have said it once I have typed it or spouted it off a thousand times, I DO NOT need to be saved or rescued. If I don't fall in to the needing to be "Saved" then by default do I fall under "Savior?"
This was actually quite a revelation because I never considered myself as a "savior" or one who needed "saving." I want to be strong, brave, and stand on my own two feet, so who am I trying to save?
There are numerous people in my life that are fragile, weak, must be handled with kid gloves. They are broken in some way, emotionally messed up, incapable of standing up for themselves or need someone who is stronger than they are to guide them.
Even in my youth I found those that needed "saving" or they found me. I find myself wanting to instill in them the qualities that I value and feel are important. To let them know they deserve more, they can ask for better, that they can be courageous. I naively wanted to right wrongs.
I surround myself with people, men in particular that are emotionally unavailable. After a really wonderful weekend with Jack, I was hit square in the face with the reality, with his trust depleted he is utterly emotionally unavailable. I was not the one he wished he was with but a person that filled the void. I was a band-aid to a pain he has not yet processed. It would not matter the level of friendship I may or may not be looking for, he is reluctant to see the potential.
The sad thing is; Parker, GI-Joe and even my ex fall into the same category. Somehow I must think I can change them, fix them, make them all better. I want them to see what I see in them, the potential for greatness. They are not capable, not ready or are unwilling to share their thoughts or life.
They stay guarded, refuse to trust or take risks. They have become jaded by wrongs and have detached themselves from connecting with people to avoid getting hurt. If you do not care, if you don't get attached then you are completely safe in your isolation.
Am I trying to save them by letting my strength and determination rub off on them? Helping someone, seeing them change and evolve into a stronger person makes me feel like I am making a difference, that if every person is the main character in their own story that I am the best supporting actress I can be. Make them trust, demand change, expect better, or learn to stand on their own.
Perhaps it is not completely altruistic, but a way to make a mark in a world that is bigger than me!