In a previous post I wrote about The Art Of Intimacy. My intentions when I wrote the piece was to remind couples to notice the small things; however what I failed to realize was the perception of what one person believes is an intimate act may not be perceived as intimate by another. This raised an interesting question; how can I expect my partner to know that engaging in these acts show trust or that they should be viewed as an honor if their perception varies from mine?
Lighting a few candles and allowing the hot water to melt the stress away is divine after a long day. No matter if it is the beginning of the day and I am getting ready for work or it is the end of the day; washing my hair, shaving and soaping up every inch of my body is a very private act.
When I choose to shower with someone I am inviting them into my quiet hiding place. It is an extremely intimate act that has nothing or very little to do with sex or being sexy but more of a way to get lost in each other for a few moments of every day.
I know in that twenty or thirty minutes I have your undivided attention. The world cannot touch us. No emails to check, phones ringing, clients demanding attention, kids wanting something, it is just you and me and the hot water cascading around us. I am asking you to share my space, my private time and tell me about your day.
The idea of sleeping next to someone, lying in their arms, and waking up beside them to me is more intimate then sex. To let your guard down and trust that person enough to sleep next to them, to know you will wake looking nothing like when you went to bed. Knowing that you may snore, kick, talk in your sleep, sweat, or god forbid fart while sleeping next to this person, (to me the idea of embarrassing myself is mortifying) so this act is reserved for someone very important to me.
I am not prone to turning on the "water works" to get my way. I would rather take a beating or my punishment whatever that may be than have someone see me be vulnerable and cry. I do not ever like looking weak in front of anyone. Not my friends, my family, my kids, my co-workers, not anyone so if you see me tear up or cry to me that should speak volumes about how I feel about you as a person.
Intimacy is so much deeper then just lowering your inhibitions with someone. Regardless if it dancing or something sexual there is the risk that they will think you are foolish or freaky. There is the risk of being judged by someone you trust and care about which is why if I do lower my guard an engage in some of these things that I hold sacred it is a big freakin deal.
Each person has their own set of preconceived ideas of what is intimate and sacred, I would love to know your thoughts and add to my list. I have several more but.... you know some things I don't share easily.