Thinking I was being bold and in control, I was audacious in my idiocy. Desperately wanting to believe there was some ounce of control I had in the chaos my life had become, I chose you to be my Paramour. Make no mistake it was my choice.
My pursuit of you was never timid. My persuasion quite easy. You wanted me as much as I wanted you. I planned to have you and have you I did. It was for far briefer of a time then I wished and you were not the lover I had hoped you would be, but in those brief hours being with you was a gift I shall not soon forget.
Your eyes so enigmatic they can pierce me even through a memory. I can close my eyes and your image is burnt to the inside of my eye lids. All the feelings come rushing back like flood waters spilling over a levy. The lust I felt for you was real and the chemistry between us a chemical reaction waiting to explode into a glorious disaster.
Standing near you made my pulse race. The mere smell of you was intoxicating, easily bringing me to my knees. Neurons firing off messages in my brain telling my body that I needed your touch. I needed to feel the gentle pressure of your lips. Your tongue dancing with mine. Your kisses were the best I have ever had.
A growing necessity to feel that kiss turn from a light touch to an aggressive need. Your fingers nimbly undoing the teal sash at my side so you could slip your hands around my waist. Finding our way across the room and up against the wall. Feeling you lift my legs up to meet you. A hunger between both of us that must be fulfilled.
You seemed so perfect in theory; a play thing, a toy at my disposal to make me feel better, after all that was the role of a Paramour. In my attempt to assure you I would not be hurt by this arrangement that this is what I wanted, I inadvertently gave you permission to disrespect me. You would blow me off and dismiss me as if I did not matter because in fact I did not matter.
I must tell you I am sad to see it's end but from this; a growth, a learning experience I have gained. Oh... how I miss your kiss and your touch.