In a utopian world one can "have their cake and eat it too," however in the real world, if one were to indulge in such glutinous pleasures you end up with a sugar high and an upset stomach.
We as humans would like to think we evolve, change and grow through our experiences. The real under lying question is, “Are we interested in evolving? The idea of “evolving” or becoming a better person may be a false sense of self that we can buy into. Perhaps we do not evolve into better people, rather characteristics we deem barbaric become dormant capable of reemerging to rear their ugly head whenever we feel threatened.
We can achieve a magnitude of changes within ourselves by choice alone and retain the most basic of intrinsic values; however others still influence and impact decisions made in life. They are often the catalyst. How much of evolving is by choice and how much is subject to the vicissitudes of life?
In the journey towards self enlightenment I have discovered that sometimes when you win you lose. You may gain a better job with better pay but you lose out on personal dreams and ambitions. Often when you gain it is at the expense of something or someone else. You sacrifice your dreams, time to yourself and time with your family for the idea of the greater good. Becoming an adult, slowly evolving, is the pivotal moment we become acutely aware that people live each day shackled by limits and obligations.
“Having your cake and eating it too,” has the connotation of greed. To me it's the greed of a little kid who hasn't figured out the laws of 3D yet. The excitement and novelty will eventually wear off and very real unanticipated consequences are all that remain.
To evolve, to be enlightened one must embrace the idea of letting go of all expectations, of past hurt and pain. Since I still wish bodily harm to those whom have wronged me in the most hurtful of ways I have decided I have not yet evolved that I may be the complete opposite. I may be experiencing devolution, so I can retain my barbaric ways and kick ass if I need to!