Walking The Line: Evolving Into A Women Of Substance

In a utopian world one can "have their cake and eat it too," however in the real world, if one were to indulge in such glutinous pleasures you end up with a sugar high and an upset stomach.

We as humans would like to think we evolve, change and grow through our experiences. The real under lying question is, “Are we interested in evolving? The idea of “evolving” or becoming a better person may be a false sense of self that we can buy into. Perhaps we do not evolve into better people, rather characteristics we deem barbaric become dormant capable of reemerging to rear their ugly head whenever we feel threatened.

We can achieve a magnitude of changes within ourselves by choice alone and retain the most basic of intrinsic values; however others still influence and impact decisions made in life. They are often the catalyst. How much of evolving is by choice and how much is subject to the vicissitudes of life?

In the journey towards self enlightenment I have discovered that sometimes when you win you lose. You may gain a better job with better pay but you lose out on personal dreams and ambitions. Often when you gain it is at the expense of something or someone else. You sacrifice your dreams, time to yourself and time with your family for the idea of the greater good. Becoming an adult, slowly evolving, is the pivotal moment we become acutely aware that people live each day shackled by limits and obligations.

“Having your cake and eating it too,” has the connotation of greed. To me it's the greed of a little kid who hasn't figured out the laws of 3D yet. The excitement and novelty will eventually wear off and very real unanticipated consequences are all that remain.

To evolve, to be enlightened one must embrace the idea of letting go of all expectations, of past hurt and pain. Since I still wish bodily harm to those whom have wronged me in the most hurtful of ways I have decided I have not yet evolved that I may be the complete opposite. I may be experiencing devolution, so I can retain my barbaric ways and kick ass if I need to!

Tartarus's world

Given to the foils of time
In this silent hour
The ferocious tide rips
Dreams puddle beneath my feet
Floating into the abyss
The most dire of mistakes

Brief Encounter

Putting one foot in front of the other I walked up to him with more confidence then I actually felt. “May I see you for a moment?” His eyes bore into mine with shock and intrigue. It had been months since I had seen him, spoken his name, and touched his lips to mine. Flashes of body parts contorted in pain and pleasure burned at the back of my eye lids as I tried to keep my smile firmly in place. His nod was polite and controlled. From the corner of my eye I could see Parker dismiss the person he was with turning his gaze and focus back to me.

I felt his hand snake up and grab my elbow firmly giving it a gentle but commanding squeeze. My heels made a clacking sound and our steps fell into sync as he guided me across the tiled floor. Not a word was spoken until the door to his office closed with a reverberating click. He pushed me forward and then wheeled me around so my butt slammed into the now closed door. My throat suddenly felt dry and scratchy. He released my elbow. I instinctually reached my hand up to massage away the heat from his touch.

“I did not mean to grip so hard. Did I hurt you?” His words came out in a bark, while his eyes held genuine concern. “No, I'm fine. I’m not actually sure why I am here--- ” My words trailed off. I tried to side step him so I could refocus my thoughts but his arms went straight up trapping me against the door. “You are here for a reason, are you going to tell me why?” His tone held a hint of teasing.

I knew the words he wanted me to say, I even felt them bubble their way to the surface. My lips refused to take shape, to form the words my body and mind were screaming. He wanted me to say I had made a mistake, that I should have never broken things off, he wanted me to beg.

Eternity passed in those brief moments while I waited for him to give me what I could not form into words. I knew my cheeks were betraying me without even needing a glance in a mirror. “You always did blush so nicely.” He whispered in that husky rakish tone I adored, as he lowered his lips to mine.

The greed I felt in his kiss paled compared to the greed in mine. My blouse was unbuttoned in one swift motion. His large hand cupped my breast bringing his thumb and pointer finger together in a gentle pinch at the tip of the nipple. My eyes slammed shut, fighting every fiber in my being that told me to scream; instead I melted into the pleasure. I allowed it to take over reason.

Parker bent his head down taking my nipple into his mouth, teasing and taunting it into a peak. My fingers laced their way through his dark tresses. The scent of his shampoo rose settling in my nose. His cologne had faded and now mixed with my scent.

Suddenly my hands were all over not settling in one place to long. I felt his shirt break free from his waistline and my fingers finally roamed over his heated flesh. It was not enough that I had memorized every line, every angle, every freckle, and every scar on our last encounter; I wanted to feel every inch of his body again.

His cock pressed hard against his khaki pants. My fingers found his zipper freeing him from the fabric prison and into my waiting hand. My fingers enclosed the length of him and I gently moved my hand up and down. A moan erupted from his throat enhancing my own desire.

I could feel the stirring at my core, my center; the gentle throbbing of blood that had rushed to the sensitive place between my legs. He inched my pencil skirt up higher exposing my thigh highs. His fingers pushed the lace of my panties out of the way so he could tease out the pleasure hiding within. Waves of desire, longing, need swept through me with voracity. My knees finally gave way. Parker reached his strong arms out under my butt lifting me up. I adjusted my legs around his waist then he entered me.

My back was flat up against the door and for a brief moment I was nervous about being caught. A shuttered went down my spine making me shake a little. Parker’s eyes opened, “Are you ok?” All the bark was gone. My eyes flew open and I realized I was staring directly into his greenish grey eyes that had captivated me from the beginning. “Yes.” It came out breathless, but it was all I could get my mind to form and the only word he needed to hear.

I held onto his neck with my legs locked around his waist. Every movement brought us both closer to the pleasure we needed until we both shuttered with orgasm. In that moment I could not remember why I had ever walked away from him.