Your adoration I should be forsaking
From seclusion I am passively waking
My resolve to stay away is breaking
The thought of you leaves me shaking
I covet your masterful love making
Like warm summer fruit, I am ripe for the taking
I want you to build up in me that deep aching
The kind that stimulates an inner quaking

Desert

Your silence is like a desert; endless, empty, wide
For so long intimacy from you has been denied
Against my face the fiery wind blows
Sand shifting between my toes

Why to this desolate place have I been banished?
My fear, I will wander here too long and simply vanish
Dehydrated from all the tears I have wept
This isolation I can not accept

Once again you have asked for space
From your heart I feel I am slowly being erased
Desperate for an oasis from the pain
Delirious and dazed, you have me going insane

My pleas fall like echoes on deaf ears
Already parched, I can spare no tears
Always making me feel like my need
Was born not of desire, but of greed

I have built up such a thirst
My lungs feel like they may burst
Out stretched is my hand
As I cross this scorched land

My skin is rapidly burning
And I am slowly learning
Under the blazing sun
Your love for me has come undone

Anyone but me

Today I didn't want to be me
I didn't want my life
or live in South Carolina
I didn't want to be a wife
or have children
I want to be free
I didn't want to live
or breathe
I wanted to be anyone but me

weathering the storm

From a dear friend to me in a time of crisis. She is my rock and I adore her!

my wings are heavy
the air is damp
during the downpour
it is hard for me to fly
held down from the weight
drained from the fight
I am motionless
sensing my weakness
full of self doubt
aware of the storm around me
unable to see through the dark clouds
so I wait
restless and dripping
for the sun to come out
for it to shine again
drying the wetness away
so I may fly once more
wishing for my cocoon
where I was able to hide away
shelter the storm
wavering in the wind
I am crying within
longing to be full of life
instead of roaming aimlessly
this day has been so long
a shiver in my heart
I feel cold on the inside
seeing no reason to smile
feeling like a useless creature
what good is a butterfly
who’s burden is heavy and wet
holding her down
unable to show her grace
isolated from her nest
soon I will see hope
the threat to my delicate soul
will evaporate
when the sun peeks through the clouds
a rainbow to form in the distance
my outlook will change
my wings will begin to dry
I will be able to soar in the clean air
fresh from the rain
I realize
it is just a single moment
of dark, of helplessness
as I fade
but my wings will dry
and I will fly again.


CJN

Dreams

Destroyed by a ticking clock
Memories are like intricate tapestries
Desperate for unconsciousness
To escape back into my dreams
Your caress, a refuge where I feel safe
Doubt and uncertainty can not penetrate
Your voice softly resonating in my head
Gently influencing me
Morning falters as the alarm rings

Wrecked

You completely wreck me
A victim of unbalanced lust and obsession

You are chaotic and complicated
But tonight I want you in my arms

To explore and celebrate passion
Moving in rhythm

Languid drenched kisses
Swollen lips, warm to the touch

Delicious beautiful aroma
Breathe me in

Leap into my vast depths
Magnificent sweet ecstasy

A thousand glorious minutes of pleasure
This moment I will forever live
The pain in my soul is unbearable
I beg for it to cease
Lost, living in my head
Exhaustion weighing heavy on my eyes
Haunting my dreams
I seek relief
Plagued by nothing
Withdrawing from everything
Letting lies linger on your lips
Now trapped in doubt the pain stings
Like paper cuts on a beating heart

Just a Trace

Wearing stockings and lace
Longing to be embraced
I fear all long it was just the chase

Now feeling confined, I need more space
I thought I needed you to find my grace
What can I do to gain back my face

I am in a desperate race
I feel like I have lost my place
Slowly disappearing, before long I will be erased

Wanting What We Can't Have

What am I to do
My love for you silently grew
But I know I can't have you

Being near you makes my heart rejoice
I can't find my voice
I am regretting my choice

I have longed for a kiss to be exchanged
Wanting things to change
A life established, I can’t rearrange

As I close my eyes in hesitation
I am driven by sheer temptation
Perhaps all I feel is admiration

What if I decide to pursue?
My heart is still ripped in two
All these feeling are completely new

Ethos

Ethos, meaning "showing moral character". To the Greeks ancient and modern, the meaning is simply "the state of being", the inner source, the soul, the mind, and the original essence, that shapes and forms a person.

In defining my inner state, the "who" of who I am, I have decided I can not help but be a passionate person. I do not know how to be anything other then what I am. I am very expressive and animated. I am slow to anger and quick to forgive. I am fiery and feisty, sassy and opinionated, but I believe it gives me depth as a human being not to be seen as a flaw.

I can find beauty in almost anything. I am very much drawn to the beauty of the human body and the ability one has to express their identity through it. What other people may perceive as flaws is what I find most beautiful in a person. To truly see someone, to really see "who" they are is a rare gift to be valued and cherished.

I love being a little naughty, it makes me who I am and it makes me feel alive, so I can't imagine life with out passion. I have an insatiable appetite, a thirst for affection and closeness. A need for human contact. To touch someone, to hold a hand, to gently caress them even in passing from one room to another.

I believe in living in the moment, and I can appreciate unpredictability. I want to grab every moment, enjoy every precious second, because you never know when it will be your last. Even though I want ever second to "count" I still like some things to have order. I am an optimist at heart but a realist in my head. I want to see the good in others and hope that things will fall into place as they should, but I can't help but to have a back up plan.

I like to make strong commitments and stick to them, but somehow, in some way I find myself questioning everything. Who am I? What do I want? How do I make my mark? Do the things I say and or do really make a difference?

I have lost my place.

Hiatus


Brown sugar lather slithers over me in comfort, as the bubbles slowly creep their way to the top. Rubbing my hands up and down the length of my legs my muscles give way to the long day and relax in the hot water. Soft, smooth sounds of Jazz reach my inner ear, and I realize every chord struck, every note played is done in a delicate balance and rhythm. My eyes flutter closed, as the distinct sound of a saxophone is heard. I find that aching, pulsing place, and my fingers begin caressing life back into my soul.

Mine and Her's

A friend and I picked out 20 words to see how we would use them differently

___________Caliiope Jones____________

Together in a private moment
She had exquisite turquoise eyes
A tremendous smile
A lonely whisper escaping her lips
With a raw fresh aroma
Murmuring her name
Swollen goddess in need of joy
To ignite in a fiery blaze
One orgasm to satisfy
And a candy kiss
To concrete her place in this world


___________Caliiope Jones____________

naked woman beneath a stormy sky
penetrating a magnificent bouquet
paradise touched and cherished
pleasure embraced
exploring, pounding tasting
delicious, velvet, soft
finding the magical button
a flicker of happiness crossing our faces
dropping together to the ground in exhaustion
embracing what can never be


_______________cjn________________

A Concrete Memory

I remember how her lips burned like a fiery blaze,
Joy murmurs in my heart when I remember the days.
At the moment we gave into deep private desires,
Coming together, we would explore and inquire.

Under the fresh turquoise sheets we sealed our fate.
Her candy I longed for her sugar I ate.
Never forgetting the whispers we shared in our kiss.
Her swollen breasts and raw emotion I deeply miss.

An exquisite aroma when I found her special place,
Satisfying a goddess, memorizing her beautiful face.
In the dark, we shared a tremendous time,
The ultimate orgasm flashes again in my mind.

_______________cjn________________

Beneath his strong bones, I am a woman
I urge him to pleasure me just once more
He chooses to explore my delicious ocean
Seeing his eyes flicker in the candlelight
As a magnificent storm builds inside of me
I cherish the velvet, naked moment
I have found paradise in his touch
We embrace the bouquet of exquisite passion
He has penetrated my heart
Pounded his self into my soul
Touched the magic button
At his climax exhausted, together we drop

Taking Applications........

1. I have arrived at a profound realization
Empty, full circle with exasperation
The goal is to no longer have utter frustration
What has driven me to this grand revelation?

2. I am tired of waiting for his initiation
Experiencing such isolation
Desperately under provocation
I have had no communication

3. To no one, will I give an explanation
I won’t be cast into damnation
There will be no accusations
I will get everlasting vindication

4. There has been extensive alienation
A complete lack of affection
For self-preservation
I am taking applications

5. Your name brings forth a wonderful association
Become the rock of my foundation
I look at you as my salvation
Give me validation

6. I am coming to you with great anticipation
For you, I have built such admiration
In this plan I feel utter justification
For this has become a desperate situation

7. I am in a state of separation
A steady existence of stagnation
Suffering in silent suffocation
A wretched strangulation

8. I don’t think I have created any exaggeration
Experiencing nothing but starvation
A rotting limb in need of amputation
Just a simple operation

9. Through powerful observation
And careful deliberation
I can't have any procrastination
From my routine I have planned a deviation


10. Open to interpretations
I have enjoyed all the flirtation
For my body I believe you have an appreciation
Becoming a growing fascination


11. Help me make a transformation
I don't want there to be any misinterpretation
I am extending a rare invitation
Would you like a translation?

12. Let me give clarification……
You came to me with quite a reputation
You will receive complete compensation
To undergo an investigation

13. Needing a human connection
Requiring a demonstration
I need to know you possess innovation
On how to make a frantic creation

14. After all this is a consultation
Your performance will come with an evaluation
Please state your qualifications
What is your specialization?

15. Being around you creates such temptation
I hope you aren’t undergoing any trepidation
Because I have great expectations….
Just thinking about it my body hums with vibration

16. I understand that this carries heavy implications
However, I am putting you on notification
Some simple stipulations
Without equivocations

17. Let’s commence with negotiations:
No complications
No confrontation
No limitations
No ramifications

18. There will be no contract termination
No substitutes or imitations
Absolutely, No cancellations
This will create aggravation

19. Please give it some contemplation
It will take careful planning and estimation
We will need immediate activation
To make this a monthly reservation

20. From our lives we will take a brief vacation
With a small amount of concentration
Your words and my hands, a great combination
And proper motivation

21. It will be a grand destination
I do so encourage exploration
We won’t need a compass on this navigation
You will help me explore every sensation

22. Will you stick to my specifications?
I am happy to set up an illustration
I expect some adaptation
A period of acclimation

23. Create with inspiration
There should never be duplication
Perhaps a slight correlation
I am looking for improvisation

24. Accessing my memories with desperation
We must have complete relaxation
You are full of information
I want us to both reach jubilation

25. On your body find that special location
With careful calculations
We need the right kinds of variations
There has to be organization

26. The right measure of stimulation
With gentle acceleration
The perfect amount of masturbation
We may need to adjust calibration

27. I require gratification!
It will take extraordinary dedication
In order to reach maximum escalation
You won’t stop until there is an exclamation!

28. To my life, you have brought animation
I expect modifications and experimentation
If I don’t reach that euphoric state there will be devastation
I need to make a grand proclamation……..

29. Engaging in pure elation
Causing my heart to have a celebration
I can now say, "Congratulations!"
I am no longer Taking Applications

Where We Are The Way We Were

Watching you carefully I drank my coffee and ate my dessert
From across the room I wanted to flirt
Smelling so good, making my senses completely alert
You wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt

Completely enthralled, hoping not to fall
Life no longer appeared so small
Because of you I could stand tall
So I gave you my all

I felt like a bright shinning star
You just sat and played your guitar
Where we ended up seems so bizarre
We are the way we are, now you live so far