Tremendously mischievous
hopelessly flawed
frighteningly reckless
desperately unpredictable
weak and trembling
immense nerves
silently breathing
emotions spent
rendered helpless


In the bleakest of moments you are incandescent
Swallowing hard against this perplexing need
You are cloaked in mystery and intrigue
I have longed to absorb and understand all of your complexities
You are extraordinary at giving me all that I require
Quenching a quiet need that has remained unspoken

Immersing yourself into my folds you urge me to ask
An allusive question I can not allow my lips to form
Yearning felt deep to my core, heat and fire ignited
Urging you with soft vulnerable movements offering complete surrender
To reach that euphoric state where you belong to only me
Ecstasy so powerful it makes you forget time and space

Cruel reality awaits me when I come down from my high
Inevitable truths; you are not mine and I am not yours
Being reckless, haunting me to death with hidden sorrow
An impulse that creates guilt on the life you have built
There is no purification for the soul, twisted regret
My heart is bleeding, with you I will have no tomorrows

Art II

I choose to place a piece of art by Tomasz Rut with this poem. He is an artist that I find inspiring. His work is sensual and soft. I hope you like him as much as I do.

Art II

With a stroke of paint you could create my world and form a song that feels like a question. An abstract symbol for every passion I compose and will almost ask but never imagine. To draw, to capture the color of our senses. The fiery music we would love to hear or approach in soft movements as if it was as real as rhythm. You are the only ink from which I can write this joy. Let my impression come through your canvas like art.


A collaboration from CJN and Calliope Jones:

Smiling when I escape back to the weak moment of our perfect chemistry
I am about to access my beloved memories
They mysteriously empower me and quench a quiet need
I yearn for another interlude, will you take the lead?
I remember the savage urging within me the first time you led me to no return
Your touch lit a fuse in me making my insides burn
Though it may sound absurd, I feel trembling when I think of it
You are an ideal, one of a kind, a drug I cannot quit
Though some may chastise, I think back with no regret
I question if memories are useless nonsense, however you I will never forget
I visualize your handsome face, hoping to justify my broken heart
Wanting more then anything for you to stay, you still decided to depart
Our friendship lead us on a quest of proportions so deep
Your image comes to me so easy and potent, a memory I long to keep.

A sucker punch you gave me, now I cringe at the truth
When we met I was naive and in my youth
Thinking my heart was safe in your furl, not realizing your promises were void
I have a knot in my stomach because I know our future has been destroyed
Maybe to you our love was trivial, an empty ride of promises broken
But I gave you my all, my heart was my gift, my love was unspoken
I prayed you would stay, that to you I would not become another bore
Instead you knocked me down like all your other whores
Leaving me broken and alone to loath you, like the others before me
But it's done, it's over, now I have to move on and erase you from my memory
You will see in the end, you lost the best thing you ever had
And you will come back, but by then it will be so sad
Cuz this bitch doesn't forget, she doesn't just let it slip on by
Anger has come now that I am over your heartless good-bye.

cjn & Calliope Jones

Trust Shaken

A flicker of escape crosses my mind
In this tiny space, I feel so confined
Glistening steel blade clutched in my hand
Looking in the mirror I see my eyes expand
I am so lost and lonely
I thought you were my one and only
Your love I believed was sincere
But where we are now is so unclear
Embracing trust makes for agony, I just feel numb
I scream when magnificent ecstasy does not come
As you slowly withdraw
With new eyes I see every flaw
Love waits to envelope me into safety, but my heart is filled with doubt
Quick slash through my flesh,crimson red pours out


I must make a confession
I look forward to our sessions
Where we form and ask questions
It has slowly become an obsession
When I don’t speak to you there is a depression
Upon you I want to leave my impression
Towards her I have a small amount of aggression
Our game we will play with discretion

Why Don't You And I

When I met Parker I felt this way. Like I had wings on my shoes that would carry me away. I don't think I have ever encountered someone that made me forget what I was about to say and then when I would say something I would get tongue tied and things would come out all wrong.

I wanted to see him more often but really had no logical reason to. Then when I would see him I found myself wanting to tell him things I would not normally say to someone I barely knew. I felt like I was on some high, some trip that I was easily becoming addicted to.