Every touch, every sensation, every taste amplified
Emotions raw and new they can not be quantified

Your heady fragrance lingers from your last embrace
Your persistent proximity makes me forget my place

A smile in your eyes holds me firmly pinned
Wanting to explore every delectable sin

Why do I have to placate and beg forgiveness to mollify
Trying to keep promises, reasons and rationals I won’t qualify

I am screaming at the top of my voice
Freshly grounded in logic I no longer have a choice

It is almost cruel to leave me unsatisfied and unfulfilled
To never experience the thrill or to endure all your skill
Seeing you brings forth a voracity of desire
Time alone with you to partake in all that we require

It started slow with an ache and yearning so vague
Now with a mind of it's own I am constantly plagued

All these feelings bubbling to the surface, I should be frightened
But, when you are around my insides are warm and become tightened

Your presence makes me feel connected and adored
Every movement, every stroke is like a musical chord

Seeking you out first because of curiosity and intrigue
Now I know I don't want to stop until I fall down with fatigue

I plan to feel every sweet inch of you
Even your scent makes me come unglued

Swollen smooth breast taking on a rosey blush
Panting and moaning, I won't be hushed

My Wish

Sculptured silhouettes in soft candle light
Promises of pleasure on luscious lips
Together worshiping in balance
Trembling touches, tantalizing you with pink parts
Lovely languid language whispered
Letting lust linger, such exquisite agony and ecstasy
Shudders explode all over our bodies
Temporarily removed from verity, I need to know I am still alive
Diluted truths and compromised realities, nonetheless I want to feel
Basking in your fragrance, the brush of your hand quickens my pulse
The warmth from your proximity gives me a dull ache inside
Tasting tranquility for a wavering moment, rendering me breathless
Creating a longing so poignant it leaves me vulnerable
My inner core pulsating, awakening butterflies in my stomach

Thanatos

Thanatos is Death personified.

How do I know I’m not dead already? Suffering a slow death from suffocation. A fissure in my heart so deep. Every ounce of passion I once possessed sucked from my soul until all that will remain is a hollow shell. Destruction from indifference. When did you stop caring who I am or about the things I need? Becoming a faint imprint of who I used to be. Cast into the shadows waiting for your cue. How long have I been dying? Going so long unseen. Questioning every decision I have ever made. Casting off old beliefs. Gone is the time I thought love could actually surpass time and space. No longer is desire reflect in your eyes, unsure that it ever was. Only a dull light behind mine, desperate to shine bright again. When was the last time you reached for me with uncontained carnivorous hunger? Years of being close to death, inhaling my last breath and never knowing all along death could be a welcoming relief to an inexplicable pain.

Time Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

--Sam Levenson, humorist

Lust

Unrealistic fantasies coagulated in my mind
Venturing far from my comfort, no longer fettered
Plagued with atrophy I need you to breath life into me
Discarding all the things tangible in my life
Usurped to love, it does not vaccinate you to lust and desire
Abandoning reason, I am malleable in your hands
Consumed in the moment, inhibitions lost
Uncontained is my need when your scent lingers on my lips

A Symphony of a Thousand Embraces

A symphony of a thousand embraces
Whispering sweet nothings, liquid magic took hold
Exploring wet kisses, forever one to mold
It's a race to dance in beauty, tasting your skin
Wanting to feel you within
Sweet visions flood my mind in frustration
I cry out in desperation!
Our bodies play delicate rhythms, bathing in the moonlight
Desires began to soar, intimate in the night
Delicate secrets remembered, to be left shaking
Brilliant trust dawns in morning light

Torrid Love Affair








Franticly dreaming of bittersweet love making
Heat can be felt as I wake with a deep aching
My temperature rising, my face feels flush
I am feverish with desire, but I don’t want to rush

Urging you with caresses up and down the length of your back
Find my source of pleasure, give me all the things I have lacked
My blood boils through my veins, I part my legs for you to ease in-between
Take me with a swift thrust, for far to long I have gone unseen

Swollen sweet agony felt deep within
Wondering all my life, where have you been?
Magnetic rhythm takes place, slowly giving and demanding
A sweet rapture takes over my body, you are truly outstanding
Spotting me your face lights up with a grin
Chewing on my lip, nervousness sets in
I don't know what I am doing here
However, I like when you are near

Starring into your eyes, they are so intense
The desire is palpable, yet mere pleasantries are dispensed
Lust swimming before me like a hazy illusion
Stolen moments with you, a welcoming intrusion

I can still feel the heat from your hug
Your skin smells so good it’s like a drug
My knees become a little weak and I sway
Looking at you, I see myself reflected in a new way

Promises of pleasure on your lips
Placing your hands squarely on my hips
Closing my eyes, bracing myself so I may soar
I want you to make the lioness in me roar

Embraced








Suffering from withdraws
Every embrace is a surreal escape
Whispers exchanged, electricity felt in every touch
Desperate to approach passion with harmony
Exquisite balance and rhythm found in you arms
A sculpted masterpiece capturing raw ecstasy
Satisfaction mounted in my soul
On scented twilight, the air thick and heavy with heat
Her legs dangling like a puppet off the side of the bed
Perched on bent elbows, her lips are plump and primed
Smelling faintly of daffodil soap, a fresh flower sanctuary
Gazing into her blue eyes, our legs becoming entangled
Bodies molding, hands and fingers frantically trying to please
Drinking in her sweet nectar, a moan escapes from my own mouth
Blossoms explode in magnificent cascades of living fragrant color
Collapsing back onto the bed as the heat spreads from our bellies to our fingertips

Prisoner Of My Own Sadness



Your words have a way of soothing me
From your influence I never want to be free
Pretending I don’t need you is draining
Unable to explain, my resolve is slowly waning

An inexplicable need that may not make sense
My silence has come at a great expense
Slowly trembling, don’t wipe away my tears
I need them to fall so I can face my fears

This week was so very long, I am feeling defeated
My psyche fragile, emotions raw and depleted
Now knowing what you know, ignorance no longer a strength
Your heart guarded you hold me at arms length

Precariously moving forward, I need to know you will be there
Standing at the edge, I can not revisit that pit of despair
In my thoughts and dreams it is you I secretly crave
To you, my heart and mind I long ago willingly gave

Ours To Keep


I stumbled upon this artist. She actually is a phenomenal song writer and guitar player. I really like her melodies. Her music and talent will blow you away, so I had to share. This is only a small clip of her song "Ours to keep" I encourage you to seek out her music on youtube.com, itunes or even myspace.com/kinagrannis. Simply amazing! I like "The Goldfish Song" which can be seen on youtube.


Kina Grannis

Ours To Keep

How does circumstance
Seem to cost us every chance
At living out the truth in our hearts

It seems the best laid plans
Fall just outside our hands
And leave us broken down and far apart

But if faith plays a role
I know someday I’ll hold you in my arms forevermore

So let’s love like it’s ours to keep
Love like we’ve always dreamed
And maybe this time
The fates will be kind to us
So let’s love like it’s ours to keep

I wish there was a way
That we could somehow stay
In this perfect moment in time

Candid

A collaborative piece by Calliope Jones and CJN

Thank you for always helping me when I am stuck.
This piece means a lot to me!
_____________________________________________

I’m caught between all you wish for and all I need.
How do we remain friends, how do we proceed?
The events as of late have opened a new door.
Now realizing things I didn't see before.

I would apologize if I knew what to say.
Your integrity and trust I never meant to betray.
You have known my heart for so long.
Rethinking it all, was I really so wrong?

I was compelled by curiosity and deep thought.
Your voice and language I secretly sought.
You’ve become my refuge when I needed support.
However in helping you I constantly fall short.

Finding solace together, we have never refrained,
Always there for one another, when the other is in pain.
Our souls mirror each other in perfect reflection,
So often you have guided me, offering your protection.

Never has there been a moment you didn't matter.
Without your friendship my foundation would shatter.
Can our bond continue as it has always been?
Knowing how each other think deep within.

I dread the thought of the damage caused.
Waiting for your response, my life is paused.
Seconds to minutes and minutes to hours.
Over my emotions you hold such power.

Your approval I desperately seek.
To think I don’t have it makes me feel weak.
Longing to hear your voice telling me all is well,
Until that time in anticipation I do dwell.

Jaded

So easily in our youth
We sought honesty and truth
Presented with lofty notions
Decisions made with thought and emotions

Now all grown things appear more jaded
Faith in human kind has all but faded
Ever watchful this burden I carry
It has made my body fragile and weary

Control and order is what I seek
You not believing in me makes me weak
Completely spent I silently exhale
How did I ever get so derailed

Disappointments in life becoming more severe
Gone is a whole decade, where do we go from here
I never knew letting go would be so hard
My heart is in a million tiny shards

Some of the greats

I have been making my way through some of the most prolific writers of the 19th and 20th century. Browning, EE Cummings, DH Lawrence, among numerous others. I thought I would share a few that I liked a lot.

This two are by Philip Bourke Marston

TOO NEAR

So close we are, and yet so far apart,—
So close, I feel thy breath upon my cheek;
So far, that all this love of mine is weak
To touch in any way thy distant heart:
So close, that, when I hear thy voice, I start
To see my whole life standing bare and bleak;
So far, that, though for years and years I seek,
I shall not find thee other than thou art!

So, while I live, I walk upon the verge
Of an impassable and changeless sea
Which more than death divides me, love, from thee;
The mournful beating of its heavy surge
Is all the music now that I shall hear:
O love, thou art too far, and yet too near!

Marston, P. B.


SPEECHLESS:


Their lips upon each other's lips are laid;
Strong moans of joy, wild laughter, and short cries
Seem uttered in the passion of their eyes.
He sees her body fair, and fallen head,
And she the face whereon her soul is fed;
And by the way her white breasts sink and rise,
He knows she must be shaken by sweet sighs;
Though all delight of sound for them be dead.

They dance a strange, weird measure, who know not
The tune to which their dancing feet are led;
Their breath in kissing is made doubly hot
With flame of pent-up speech; strange light is shed
About their spirits, as they mix and meet
In passion-lighted silence, 'tranced and sweet.

Marston, P. B.

My Muse

Not in light or darkness from you can I hide
In the recesses of my mind you always reside
Your voice softly resonating in my head
From reality I have long ago fled

Memories a mere collection of minutes standing still, silently frozen
Wanton sighs are but toxic reminders of paths not chosen
All this time I never realized I was rooted solidly in place
Ambitions and independence left unchased

By the gods of art and poetry you were my muse
To you nothing could I ever refuse
Defenseless under the moon and star light
Everything put on hold to forever remember this one night

Darkness Fading

Slowly disappearing under the weight of responsibilities
I stopped seeing the world holding infinite possibilities
Feeling vulnerable and my defenses down
The smile vanished from my face, there was only a frown

Over me my good friends became protective
Making me step back and gain new perspective
Reminding me of all that I have and my own uniqueness
You can be strong and still have moments of weakness

Everything is alright everything is fine
The sadness I felt was a transitory decline
From the world I am no longer withdrawn
Rapidly fading my darkness is all gone

A Real Crime Of Passion

Your breathing is shallow and I believe you may be asleep
But all I can think about is having you inside me so deep

I am torn because what I am about to do may be considered wrong
Your body reacts to mine, I have waited far to long

Work and exhaustion keep you from meeting all my sexual demands
Up and down the length of your body I sensually run my hands

Through a desert I was wandering, feeling like I was in a drought
A tiny moan escapes your beautiful mouth, gently erasing all my doubts

Ever so quiet so from your slumber you won’t rouse
There is comfortable satisfaction in being naughty to my loving spouse

I position myself above you with my legs straddled
I ride you up and down like I am on a horse, in a saddle

As your shaft moves in and out unsurpassed pleasure is felt
My body becomes all jello like, on to the bed I melt

What I did could be considered a crime
I can’t promise it will be just this one time

Because, I must confess taking from the less then willing
Has become exhilarating and slightly thrilling

It is a good thing I hold you in such high regard
Because I have never, ever cum so hard!
Your adoration I should be forsaking
From seclusion I am passively waking
My resolve to stay away is breaking
The thought of you leaves me shaking
I covet your masterful love making
Like warm summer fruit, I am ripe for the taking
I want you to build up in me that deep aching
The kind that stimulates an inner quaking

Desert

Your silence is like a desert; endless, empty, wide
For so long intimacy from you has been denied
Against my face the fiery wind blows
Sand shifting between my toes

Why to this desolate place have I been banished?
My fear, I will wander here too long and simply vanish
Dehydrated from all the tears I have wept
This isolation I can not accept

Once again you have asked for space
From your heart I feel I am slowly being erased
Desperate for an oasis from the pain
Delirious and dazed, you have me going insane

My pleas fall like echoes on deaf ears
Already parched, I can spare no tears
Always making me feel like my need
Was born not of desire, but of greed

I have built up such a thirst
My lungs feel like they may burst
Out stretched is my hand
As I cross this scorched land

My skin is rapidly burning
And I am slowly learning
Under the blazing sun
Your love for me has come undone

Anyone but me

Today I didn't want to be me
I didn't want my life
or live in South Carolina
I didn't want to be a wife
or have children
I want to be free
I didn't want to live
or breathe
I wanted to be anyone but me

weathering the storm

From a dear friend to me in a time of crisis. She is my rock and I adore her!

my wings are heavy
the air is damp
during the downpour
it is hard for me to fly
held down from the weight
drained from the fight
I am motionless
sensing my weakness
full of self doubt
aware of the storm around me
unable to see through the dark clouds
so I wait
restless and dripping
for the sun to come out
for it to shine again
drying the wetness away
so I may fly once more
wishing for my cocoon
where I was able to hide away
shelter the storm
wavering in the wind
I am crying within
longing to be full of life
instead of roaming aimlessly
this day has been so long
a shiver in my heart
I feel cold on the inside
seeing no reason to smile
feeling like a useless creature
what good is a butterfly
who’s burden is heavy and wet
holding her down
unable to show her grace
isolated from her nest
soon I will see hope
the threat to my delicate soul
will evaporate
when the sun peeks through the clouds
a rainbow to form in the distance
my outlook will change
my wings will begin to dry
I will be able to soar in the clean air
fresh from the rain
I realize
it is just a single moment
of dark, of helplessness
as I fade
but my wings will dry
and I will fly again.


CJN

Dreams

Destroyed by a ticking clock
Memories are like intricate tapestries
Desperate for unconsciousness
To escape back into my dreams
Your caress, a refuge where I feel safe
Doubt and uncertainty can not penetrate
Your voice softly resonating in my head
Gently influencing me
Morning falters as the alarm rings

Wrecked

You completely wreck me
A victim of unbalanced lust and obsession

You are chaotic and complicated
But tonight I want you in my arms

To explore and celebrate passion
Moving in rhythm

Languid drenched kisses
Swollen lips, warm to the touch

Delicious beautiful aroma
Breathe me in

Leap into my vast depths
Magnificent sweet ecstasy

A thousand glorious minutes of pleasure
This moment I will forever live
The pain in my soul is unbearable
I beg for it to cease
Lost, living in my head
Exhaustion weighing heavy on my eyes
Haunting my dreams
I seek relief
Plagued by nothing
Withdrawing from everything
Letting lies linger on your lips
Now trapped in doubt the pain stings
Like paper cuts on a beating heart

Just a Trace

Wearing stockings and lace
Longing to be embraced
I fear all long it was just the chase

Now feeling confined, I need more space
I thought I needed you to find my grace
What can I do to gain back my face

I am in a desperate race
I feel like I have lost my place
Slowly disappearing, before long I will be erased

Wanting What We Can't Have

What am I to do
My love for you silently grew
But I know I can't have you

Being near you makes my heart rejoice
I can't find my voice
I am regretting my choice

I have longed for a kiss to be exchanged
Wanting things to change
A life established, I can’t rearrange

As I close my eyes in hesitation
I am driven by sheer temptation
Perhaps all I feel is admiration

What if I decide to pursue?
My heart is still ripped in two
All these feeling are completely new

Ethos

Ethos, meaning "showing moral character". To the Greeks ancient and modern, the meaning is simply "the state of being", the inner source, the soul, the mind, and the original essence, that shapes and forms a person.

In defining my inner state, the "who" of who I am, I have decided I can not help but be a passionate person. I do not know how to be anything other then what I am. I am very expressive and animated. I am slow to anger and quick to forgive. I am fiery and feisty, sassy and opinionated, but I believe it gives me depth as a human being not to be seen as a flaw.

I can find beauty in almost anything. I am very much drawn to the beauty of the human body and the ability one has to express their identity through it. What other people may perceive as flaws is what I find most beautiful in a person. To truly see someone, to really see "who" they are is a rare gift to be valued and cherished.

I love being a little naughty, it makes me who I am and it makes me feel alive, so I can't imagine life with out passion. I have an insatiable appetite, a thirst for affection and closeness. A need for human contact. To touch someone, to hold a hand, to gently caress them even in passing from one room to another.

I believe in living in the moment, and I can appreciate unpredictability. I want to grab every moment, enjoy every precious second, because you never know when it will be your last. Even though I want ever second to "count" I still like some things to have order. I am an optimist at heart but a realist in my head. I want to see the good in others and hope that things will fall into place as they should, but I can't help but to have a back up plan.

I like to make strong commitments and stick to them, but somehow, in some way I find myself questioning everything. Who am I? What do I want? How do I make my mark? Do the things I say and or do really make a difference?

I have lost my place.

Hiatus


Brown sugar lather slithers over me in comfort, as the bubbles slowly creep their way to the top. Rubbing my hands up and down the length of my legs my muscles give way to the long day and relax in the hot water. Soft, smooth sounds of Jazz reach my inner ear, and I realize every chord struck, every note played is done in a delicate balance and rhythm. My eyes flutter closed, as the distinct sound of a saxophone is heard. I find that aching, pulsing place, and my fingers begin caressing life back into my soul.

Mine and Her's

A friend and I picked out 20 words to see how we would use them differently

___________Caliiope Jones____________

Together in a private moment
She had exquisite turquoise eyes
A tremendous smile
A lonely whisper escaping her lips
With a raw fresh aroma
Murmuring her name
Swollen goddess in need of joy
To ignite in a fiery blaze
One orgasm to satisfy
And a candy kiss
To concrete her place in this world


___________Caliiope Jones____________

naked woman beneath a stormy sky
penetrating a magnificent bouquet
paradise touched and cherished
pleasure embraced
exploring, pounding tasting
delicious, velvet, soft
finding the magical button
a flicker of happiness crossing our faces
dropping together to the ground in exhaustion
embracing what can never be


_______________cjn________________

A Concrete Memory

I remember how her lips burned like a fiery blaze,
Joy murmurs in my heart when I remember the days.
At the moment we gave into deep private desires,
Coming together, we would explore and inquire.

Under the fresh turquoise sheets we sealed our fate.
Her candy I longed for her sugar I ate.
Never forgetting the whispers we shared in our kiss.
Her swollen breasts and raw emotion I deeply miss.

An exquisite aroma when I found her special place,
Satisfying a goddess, memorizing her beautiful face.
In the dark, we shared a tremendous time,
The ultimate orgasm flashes again in my mind.

_______________cjn________________

Beneath his strong bones, I am a woman
I urge him to pleasure me just once more
He chooses to explore my delicious ocean
Seeing his eyes flicker in the candlelight
As a magnificent storm builds inside of me
I cherish the velvet, naked moment
I have found paradise in his touch
We embrace the bouquet of exquisite passion
He has penetrated my heart
Pounded his self into my soul
Touched the magic button
At his climax exhausted, together we drop

Taking Applications........

1. I have arrived at a profound realization
Empty, full circle with exasperation
The goal is to no longer have utter frustration
What has driven me to this grand revelation?

2. I am tired of waiting for his initiation
Experiencing such isolation
Desperately under provocation
I have had no communication

3. To no one, will I give an explanation
I won’t be cast into damnation
There will be no accusations
I will get everlasting vindication

4. There has been extensive alienation
A complete lack of affection
For self-preservation
I am taking applications

5. Your name brings forth a wonderful association
Become the rock of my foundation
I look at you as my salvation
Give me validation

6. I am coming to you with great anticipation
For you, I have built such admiration
In this plan I feel utter justification
For this has become a desperate situation

7. I am in a state of separation
A steady existence of stagnation
Suffering in silent suffocation
A wretched strangulation

8. I don’t think I have created any exaggeration
Experiencing nothing but starvation
A rotting limb in need of amputation
Just a simple operation

9. Through powerful observation
And careful deliberation
I can't have any procrastination
From my routine I have planned a deviation


10. Open to interpretations
I have enjoyed all the flirtation
For my body I believe you have an appreciation
Becoming a growing fascination


11. Help me make a transformation
I don't want there to be any misinterpretation
I am extending a rare invitation
Would you like a translation?

12. Let me give clarification……
You came to me with quite a reputation
You will receive complete compensation
To undergo an investigation

13. Needing a human connection
Requiring a demonstration
I need to know you possess innovation
On how to make a frantic creation

14. After all this is a consultation
Your performance will come with an evaluation
Please state your qualifications
What is your specialization?

15. Being around you creates such temptation
I hope you aren’t undergoing any trepidation
Because I have great expectations….
Just thinking about it my body hums with vibration

16. I understand that this carries heavy implications
However, I am putting you on notification
Some simple stipulations
Without equivocations

17. Let’s commence with negotiations:
No complications
No confrontation
No limitations
No ramifications

18. There will be no contract termination
No substitutes or imitations
Absolutely, No cancellations
This will create aggravation

19. Please give it some contemplation
It will take careful planning and estimation
We will need immediate activation
To make this a monthly reservation

20. From our lives we will take a brief vacation
With a small amount of concentration
Your words and my hands, a great combination
And proper motivation

21. It will be a grand destination
I do so encourage exploration
We won’t need a compass on this navigation
You will help me explore every sensation

22. Will you stick to my specifications?
I am happy to set up an illustration
I expect some adaptation
A period of acclimation

23. Create with inspiration
There should never be duplication
Perhaps a slight correlation
I am looking for improvisation

24. Accessing my memories with desperation
We must have complete relaxation
You are full of information
I want us to both reach jubilation

25. On your body find that special location
With careful calculations
We need the right kinds of variations
There has to be organization

26. The right measure of stimulation
With gentle acceleration
The perfect amount of masturbation
We may need to adjust calibration

27. I require gratification!
It will take extraordinary dedication
In order to reach maximum escalation
You won’t stop until there is an exclamation!

28. To my life, you have brought animation
I expect modifications and experimentation
If I don’t reach that euphoric state there will be devastation
I need to make a grand proclamation……..

29. Engaging in pure elation
Causing my heart to have a celebration
I can now say, "Congratulations!"
I am no longer Taking Applications

Where We Are The Way We Were

Watching you carefully I drank my coffee and ate my dessert
From across the room I wanted to flirt
Smelling so good, making my senses completely alert
You wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt

Completely enthralled, hoping not to fall
Life no longer appeared so small
Because of you I could stand tall
So I gave you my all

I felt like a bright shinning star
You just sat and played your guitar
Where we ended up seems so bizarre
We are the way we are, now you live so far

Lighthouse

His pain was like a lighthouse
A bright beacon on a stormy night
Radiant light reaching out piercing the dark
Beckoning you forward
His heart hammered like the thunder across the sky
His soul calling out to hers
Wind and rain beat fists down upon us
Lightening illuminated the sky
She was like the jagged rocks
That the waves broke upon
Crashing down hard
Until they wore smooth
Hope disappearing like the clouds
Nothing would be the same

Truth or Realities of Life

Empty hands and emptier promises
Real eyes realize real lies
It will be our demise
Slowly coming unglued
You destroyed all that I valued
Muscles in my face are spent
Trying to smile and circumvent
The perfect picture is now endanger
Once friends we have become strangers
We are broken fragments of each other
No long good for one another
All the dreams we once chased
Can no longer be embraced
Perhaps this is my fate, to which I resign
But it makes it hard to believe in a divine design.

Death

This day is as long as life, and I am anxious for it's end.
The wind is a blade, stripping the warmth from my body

In this moment all other moments ceased to exist
Here at the edge of reason, undone I reach for your hand

Lost in the memory of your kisses, I forget to remember my anguish
I can no longer bare the pain of your loss, I long to be released from it

My heart is torn from my chest and lowered into the ground with you
As the stars fall on your closed eyes, we surrendered you to the sky

Frustration

From the beginning, our fates were intertwined
I cannot breathe for the feeling of longing
We thought it often, yet spoke of it never

Restless into the night, exquisite agony
Pretending to be where we are not
Drowning slowly in gentle, wanton choice

Pathetically clutching my false memories
I loved you like no other, but was it real?
Living inside what can never be known

Relentless racket in my head
A lot can happen in your mind
Sanity confessing to insanity

Melting into you, never before understood
Oh, how I want you to know me
I miss thee, my heart will be lifeless

Hopelessly Broken

Serenity in a corrosive state
Reduced to emptiness and hate
Tremendous discontent
Elaborate torment
Sadness allowed to devour
Laughter and hope can no longer empower
From my throat tore loud screams
Despair no longer allows me to dream
Thrusted into a deep abyss
I am simply left to reminisce

My Beautiful Butterfly



From your cocoon you will soon emerge
Your soul completely purged
Shedding all of your facade
A child’s innocence restored before God

The one that was given as your defender
Perverted the word love and became your offender
Turning it into a sinister warped perception
He took advantage of a small child, confusing her with deception

Taking a parents role, he blurred the lines
To him all the blame should be assigned
What happen WASN’T your fault, so don’t feel ashamed
No longer a victim, a survivor you can loudly proclaim

All around you there is love
Just lift your eyes to the sky above
When you have those dark moments, remember one thing
Only you can decided when to spread your wings

SAUDADE

Waves of Mahogany hair
Dewy skin that smells like pear
Eyes wickedly holding a smile
Plump pink lips, so versatile
Full breasts lifting with every breath
Shapley legs incased in silk stockings
Your heart I plan unlocking

Close your eyes and immerse yourself in my touch
Brushing my lips across yours, I want you so much
Dripping with desire, sexual confidence you exude
I have dreamt and yearned for this interlude
Gliding my hands down the inside of your thigh
Gently parting your legs, my instructions you won’t DEFY
Finding your wet, silky, smooth essences

Your body humming with vibration and temptation
Committing to every single tingle and sensation
Creating a hunger with deliberate friction
Excitement swelling, unrestrained, a necessary addiction
Determination mixed with pleasure shown on your beautiful face
Urgency felt, as your breathing becomes a quicker pace,

Well manicured nails slightly digging into my shoulder
My movements becoming more intense and bolder
Your head thrashing from side to side
For you, no pleasure is denied
Tiny moans escape your lips
As you convulse against my fingertips

INSANE

Down my cheeks hot tears slip
Salty water resting on my lips

A large hand reaches up to wipe them away
The look in your eyes let’s me know you were lead astray

I can see the evidence black and blue on your neck
My mind and heart are a complete wreck

Invisible to the naked eye, I feel clamped in chains
The love for you I once had has become mundane

How did we get to this place
All we had is a lie like a slap in the face

You stand before me and beg in vain
To surrender all, to be vulnerable love is completely insane

I don’t know that I can forgive
Without you I am unsure I want to live

Where do we go from here?
I will never know if your words are sincere

Stay

I want so badly for things to be alright
Until they are that it will stay night
I am so sorry when we fight
To you this letter I write

I am wishing for you to stay
That I can mend us in some way
To undo all the hurt we have caused today
These are the things that I pray

Is there any way to reach you
I know we can see this through
Start fresh, anew
My love for you is true

A Physiological State

We were drawn together by fate
My words for you I create
I get aroused when we debate
Being around you makes me feel great
To you I can so easily relate
My feelings for you, sometimes you negate
But I believe you are my soul mate
So for you, I will forever wait………

Tarnished

Tremendously mischievous
hopelessly flawed
frighteningly reckless
desperately unpredictable
weak and trembling
immense nerves
silently breathing
emotions spent
rendered helpless

Euphoria

In the bleakest of moments you are incandescent
Swallowing hard against this perplexing need
You are cloaked in mystery and intrigue
I have longed to absorb and understand all of your complexities
You are extraordinary at giving me all that I require
Quenching a quiet need that has remained unspoken

Immersing yourself into my folds you urge me to ask
An allusive question I can not allow my lips to form
Yearning felt deep to my core, heat and fire ignited
Urging you with soft vulnerable movements offering complete surrender
To reach that euphoric state where you belong to only me
Ecstasy so powerful it makes you forget time and space

Cruel reality awaits me when I come down from my high
Inevitable truths; you are not mine and I am not yours
Being reckless, haunting me to death with hidden sorrow
An impulse that creates guilt on the life you have built
There is no purification for the soul, twisted regret
My heart is bleeding, with you I will have no tomorrows

Art II


I choose to place a piece of art by Tomasz Rut with this poem. He is an artist that I find inspiring. His work is sensual and soft. I hope you like him as much as I do.


Art II

With a stroke of paint you could create my world and form a song that feels like a question. An abstract symbol for every passion I compose and will almost ask but never imagine. To draw, to capture the color of our senses. The fiery music we would love to hear or approach in soft movements as if it was as real as rhythm. You are the only ink from which I can write this joy. Let my impression come through your canvas like art.

EMOTIONS OF A BREAK-UP

A collaboration from CJN and Calliope Jones:

FIRST COMES DENIAL………………..
Smiling when I escape back to the weak moment of our perfect chemistry
I am about to access my beloved memories
They mysteriously empower me and quench a quiet need
I yearn for another interlude, will you take the lead?
I remember the savage urging within me the first time you led me to no return
Your touch lit a fuse in me making my insides burn
Though it may sound absurd, I feel trembling when I think of it
You are an ideal, one of a kind, a drug I cannot quit
Though some may chastise, I think back with no regret
I question if memories are useless nonsense, however you I will never forget
I visualize your handsome face, hoping to justify my broken heart
Wanting more then anything for you to stay, you still decided to depart
Our friendship lead us on a quest of proportions so deep
Your image comes to me so easy and potent, a memory I long to keep.

THEN COMES THE BITTERNESS………………..
A sucker punch you gave me, now I cringe at the truth
When we met I was naive and in my youth
Thinking my heart was safe in your furl, not realizing your promises were void
I have a knot in my stomach because I know our future has been destroyed
Maybe to you our love was trivial, an empty ride of promises broken
But I gave you my all, my heart was my gift, my love was unspoken
I prayed you would stay, that to you I would not become another bore
Instead you knocked me down like all your other whores
Leaving me broken and alone to loath you, like the others before me
But it's done, it's over, now I have to move on and erase you from my memory
You will see in the end, you lost the best thing you ever had
And you will come back, but by then it will be so sad
Cuz this bitch doesn't forget, she doesn't just let it slip on by
Anger has come now that I am over your heartless good-bye.

cjn & Calliope Jones

Trust Shaken

A flicker of escape crosses my mind
In this tiny space, I feel so confined
Glistening steel blade clutched in my hand
Looking in the mirror I see my eyes expand
I am so lost and lonely
I thought you were my one and only
Your love I believed was sincere
But where we are now is so unclear
Embracing trust makes for agony, I just feel numb
I scream when magnificent ecstasy does not come
As you slowly withdraw
With new eyes I see every flaw
Love waits to envelope me into safety, but my heart is filled with doubt
Quick slash through my flesh,crimson red pours out

Confession

I must make a confession
I look forward to our sessions
Where we form and ask questions
It has slowly become an obsession
When I don’t speak to you there is a depression
Upon you I want to leave my impression
Towards her I have a small amount of aggression
Our game we will play with discretion

Why Don't You And I




When I met Parker I felt this way. Like I had wings on my shoes that would carry me away. I don't think I have ever encountered someone that made me forget what I was about to say and then when I would say something I would get tongue tied and things would come out all wrong.

I wanted to see him more often but really had no logical reason to. Then when I would see him I found myself wanting to tell him things I would not normally say to someone I barely knew. I felt like I was on some high, some trip that I was easily becoming addicted to.

Forever Cherished Goddess

Forever falling further into the depths of your spell
In your safety I will forever dwell
Perfumed waves caress the air
Soft brown hair
I wake from a long sleep
Sweet dreams of you I want to keep
Craving to be near you
Patiently awaiting your cue
I yearn to feel skin on skin
Drinking you in, making my mind spin
Deep burning magnificent desire
Like rising flames in a roaring fire
Stimulating me to my core,
You are the one I adore
Our limbs intertwining becoming one
Making me cum undone
Worshiped and adored a sacred gift
Slowly under your weight I shift
Exploring with my hands and lips
There is passion all the way to my fingertips

Forever cherished my beautiful goddess


You are the very essences of my soul
Forever falling further into the depths of your spell
In your safety I will forever dwell

To want you is to say a bird wants to take to the wind
Perfumed waves caress the air, I wake from a long sleep
Sweet dreams of you I want to keep

To leave the impression of my body upon yours
Craving to be near you, I yearn to feel skin on skin
Energizing my spirit, making my mind spin

A drunken lust, I search for pleasure
Deep burning magnificent desire
Like rising flames in a roaring fire

Exploring, embracing, celebrating passion
Our limbs intertwining becoming one
Stimulating me to my core, you make me cum undone

Naked breasts, strong arms, lingering touches
Worshiped and adored a sacred gift
Slowly under your weight I shift

Trusting, tasting, squeezing, pleasing
Exploring with my hands and lips
There is passion all the way to my fingertips

Robbed of Innocence

A competition ensues to chat
From a boy in a black hat
Her with sun streaked hair
It never dawns on her to be aware

Sitting quietly in the dorm room
Unaware an obsession is in bloom
A stalker finds his prey
A game she did not know she was to play

Fear lurks around the bend
Later a secret she can’t even tell a friend
He convinces her of her uniqueness
Waiting for the perfect moment of weakness

The sound of the washing machine muffles her cry
Feeling his hands inch up her thigh
The back of his hand finds her soft tear stained cheek
The taste of blood fills her mouth, and she feels weak

The cries choke in her throat and fall flat
His sounds echo in her ears, as he whispers, “that’s that”
Feeling dirty, yet lucky to be alive
What do I do now, how do I survive?

For a friend........

Trapped in a timeless existence
We are separated by such distance
I crave a time of honest joy
My love for you, you slowly destroy
When you dress, it is no longer for me
My desires come out in a breathless plea

I beg you to seek assistance
But I am faced with such resistance
You tantalize me with hope of change
But our kisses are broken-promises exchanged
Wanting so much more, I find myself blue
I no longer know how to see this through

We merely partake in co-existence
This marriage is bound to burst under this persistence
My life with you I want to share
I fall to my knees in prayer
Shouldering the responsibility for your happiness, I can’t let go
For I fear a broken heart is all I am to know

Influences

“You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.”
Scott Adams


As of late I have been influenced deeply by several people in my life that are all going through a tough time. Each one is strong and facing a completely different situation. Nonetheless their pain and growth has opened my eyes to a world I sometimes forget.

It is so easy to focus on short term goals and issues that directly effect us, we are often blind to the things happening all around us. The war, famine, economic crisis and on a smaller scale a friends marriage, childhood pain, and violation to a sister’s soul.

Their strength has influenced me in a way that I am having a tough time finding words for, yet these things have slowly robbed them of joy and happiness.

Take a moment and think hard about a person in your life that has given you strength perhaps at their weakest moment. Also let us think on how we may pass that strength on to someone else.

Saying Good-Bye

A planned vacation in July
I am suffocating and want to die
How did thing ever go so awry?

We once had love, that I can not deny
On a starry night staring into the sky
Happiness found us, new to love and shy

On you I can no longer rely
Letting out an exasperated sigh
All I can do is ask why?

I place my hand on your thigh
I slowly begin to cry
Life is to short to slide by

An end I must imply
My eyes are now bone dry
All is left is to say good-bye

Maddness


Sweet madness lies in wait
Pierced by an unlucky love
I feel hounded by this dream
My voice is stuck, I cannot scream
 
Under the light of the delirious sky
I think I long to die
Waking to see through groggy eyes
I know that I will hear only lies
 
Becoming more aware as my senses fully wake
I know you cannot give, only take
My soul is confined rapidly rotting
I begin secretly plotting
 
My palm flat to your chest
Your heart beating deep inside
Inches from me, I see your face
My pulse begins to race
 
Fighting the tears, I lie slowly aching
I shake inside as I feel my heart breaking
I force myself to hold back as I roll away
Wishing more than anything I could stay

I long for the time to stand still
Yet I have no self control, no will
Then I remember, you no longer care
Silently beside you I will no longer share
 
My dreams are now mine, mine alone
Your heart is as cold as stone.
My loins still burn
My stomach begins to churn
 
In the shadowy glade
I refuse to do it with a blade
Now in the ties that bind
I think I may change my mind
 
Tightly bound,
Not making a sound
Fighting with all your might
You just hung there in endless flight.
In the velvet forest
Vaguely lit by the summer moon
Your white gown floats very slowly
Like dragonflies threading for a thousand years
 
At times she arouses
A little pink rail carriage
With light soft touches
Little shivers erupt
 
On his golden chariot
Mad with love
Mounted in my soul
Endure triumphant clamoring

Carousel Ride

The coolness of the air outside
The smell of funnel cake fried
I spotted the carousel ride

In her big brown eyes all wide
I saw a desire implied
I jumped on a horse to ride alongside

Such a small space was the only divide
A brief touch of her hand did provide
In her I wanted to confide

The waves I felt deep inside
There was a hunger that could not be denied
I want our bodies to collide

Up and down on the horse I did glide
Every movement she complied
Making my insides slide

Feeling like a great over whelming tide
I didn’t want to lose our stride
I never wanted that feeling to subside

It was good for me she replied
My chest swelled with pride
I felt all tongue tied

I will never forget that carousel ride

Sarah Kay...... Hands


This is not my piece of work, and it is only a small clip but I met two people on the same day years ago that have impacted me deeply and they had a conversation with me about hands. This may only make sense over all to them but I think there is truth in her lines. That conversation stuck with me so much that when I stumbled upon this I knew I had to add it. So here it is.

Hands learn more then minds do. Hands learn to hold other hands. How to grip pencils and mold poetry. How to tickle piano keys, dribble basketballs and grip the handles of a bicycle. How to hold old people and touch babies. I love hands like I love people. They are the maps and compasses with which we navigate our way through life. Some people read palms to tell you your future, but I read hands to read your past. Each scar makes a story worth telling. Each callus palm or cracked knuckle a missed punch or years working in a factory.........
I tremble with unleashed passion.
His feather light touches will send me to the edge.
He tantalizes me with promises of paradise.
I purr with aching inside of me.
Gentle moist kisses.
Soft becomes fierce,
Fierce become rhythmic,
Rhythmic becomes exquisite.
Luscious velvet womanhood.
Clutching his shoulders, grinding my hips.
Eternal heaven felt.

For Heather...............


Fields and fields of purple heather
Little houses are strung together
The moon sleeps and I am left wondering
Through life am I just blundering?

We were worlds apart from love
My body you just made use of
Your love I never doubted
But then my mind was clouded

A quiet understanding was reached
When at first my trust was breached
You left and never explained
For our daughter my anger I try to contain

Things will never be the same
For it is you who should be ashamed
Twelve years you have put into bags
Over your new conquests you want to brag

Our marriage vowels you could not adhere
It would be easier if you would just disappear
Our little girl will feel the impact
Will her heart be left intact?

Forever

I don’t want to feel like this
I don’t want to miss your kiss
I don’t want you to hold me tight
Cuz my heart is breaking tonight
You said love me now
I said you don’t know how
The world spins and I stay still
I don’t think I can take a big enough pill
It won’t make the hurt go away
Tell me was she a good lay?
Was her hair blonde, brown or red
I must be sick in the head
When you said trust me it’s forever
I said; “Always it’s a leap and endeavor.”
Hold my hand we will jump together
I always thought it was forever.

A temptress am I


A temptress am I
Alluring you with my eyes
Convincing you with honeyed words
Deeper in my spell you do fall
Blood boiling, the room becomes small
Fascination dawns as a seduction blooms
Our smell hangs in the air, it looms
Your fingers clumsily undo my blouse
I long for you to be my spouse
Flames lick at my body
I give you full custody
Creamy breasts fill your hands
As my trust demands
Brushing soft mahogany hair away from my face
You quicken your pace
Urgency can be felt in your touch
Delicious rapture over takes me

Prisoner

Young woman a prisoner of her own design
Though you worry, you only seek me in times of question
Paragon influences language
Why question obscure understanding
Clever woman, obtuse man
The answers not surmised
My mind screams, my thoughts penetrate
Curious endeavors of the individual
We only remember yesterday
A ferocious circle of decaying sacrifice and love
Haunting thoughts pulse through me,
Make the pain real
Just make me feel
Discontent to feel melancholy
Drink in every broken breath......
Let it devour me whole
Empty platitudes, cunning zeal
Tear stained cheeks
Valid observations reached
Alleviate beauty, delight in character
Pierced eternity........ Swept into obscurity

The Scars We Bare

Teeth and anger did he bare
When the smell of burnt flesh hit the air
A child of hers not to be harmed
But that doesn’t change the scar on my arm
 
Through all of my tiny tears
Did she realize all of her fears?
Courage she did not have until that fateful night
She fought; and she fought with all her might

She left and never looked back
Never again would he attack
With two children and nowhere to go
She felt her life had little to show 

In her safety we did belong
Now all grown I know she was strong
A small reminder remains
From it a strength I have gained

Mischievous Sprite

Heart melting smile with the lips of mischievous sprite
A soft voice used to worship woman
Champagne drenched kisses
I use my poetry to speak to you
Delicious moist breath......
You don’t hear my words, but you embrace my questions
Sacred secrets felt
Fingers burn to tell stories
Candle light flickers across your face
Whispers tantalizing you ear
Listen, trust, celebrate, dance
Explore my thoughts, caress the depths of my soul 
Velvet corduroy, hard throbbing womanhood 
Slowly disappearing under the weight of responsibility
Don’t allow tomorrow to come
Let eternity wait

Art

Compose an abstract masterpiece
Capture balance and mold harmony
Observe rhythm in my silhouette
Write bold symbols
Paint vivid soft movements
Create wild brush strokes
Experiment with your imagination
Question your senses
Dazzle me with a sculptured song
Leave your impression upon my canvas

Bent and Broken

The twisted trees, scented twilight
On the calm inky water
Embroidered with black moss
Hidden by the window
Where the stars are sleeping
Cloaked in ignorance
Unfathomable space
I care for nothing
I no longer felt like myself
Faithless bent and broken
Tangled body movements
I lay contorted on the floor
Ragged breath dissolving emotion

What I know.................

I know envy and I know greed
I know love and I know hate
I know anger and I know grief
With you my fears are suspended in disbelief

Things aren’t always black and white
And neither of us can always be right
I know what it is to be happy and I know what it is to be sad
It hasn’t always been good, but neither has it all been bad

I know I can feel lost, with you I feel found
Your breathe in my ear, a reassuring sound
I know right from wrong
I know I am always trying to be strong

I know lust and I know desire
When you touch my skin it feels on fire
With you I feel no shame I know only grace
When I see you I feel only a smile on my face

I know there are highs and there will be lows
I have known sorrow and I have known joy
The moment they handed me my baby boy
I know I have hurt and I know pain
But only love is to be gained

Remembrance


There was a moment, when time was tangible
But memories fade like whispers on a windy day
Coffee, friendship a game of chess.
A love in the eyes that can never be expressed

We carry it around inside
Afraid it will break
Falling down on my knees
A mistake I cannot make

My facade is bare
Feelings that are too hard to share
Often experiences misunderstood
Never saying the things I should

It robs my mouth of speech
You are just out of my reach
Maybe someday you will know how I feel
Because of you my words are real

Orgasm

Summer shadows in the garden
Rain on rose petals
I’m week in the knees
Screaming, wanting deliriously panting
Delicate moments beneath a lazy moon
Vision are racing through me like a title wave.
Smooth breast, luscious creamy skin
Whispers, moans, chants
Bittersweet lovemaking
Urging frantic tongues
Licking, aching, lusting soaring
Sweat in my hair
I cry out in madness
My elaborate dreams forever suspended in time